How to Shred Someone's Sanity
by Summer.ice7
Summary: Sanity was overrated anyways, she mused as she watched the units that'd been mistakenly ordered wreak havoc on the cottage. But still, it was going to be a long summer. CRACK Based off LolliDictator's /est. 1995's Manual fics.
1. Chapter 1

Yesh. Another authoress who has jumped the bandwagon for Manual Fics as an noobie.

Shame on me.

Anywho, since I am most likely going to be in for it later on in life, I'm doing this awkward-stupid-crazy-retarded-fail-of-a-fanfic thing. Yes. Feel the Awkwardness. Embrace it even.

**Disclaimer: Hetalia obviously does not belong to me because then I wouldn't be typing this, the same going to the Hetalia Manual fic idea which belongs to the great LolliDictator. All hail her. Though I do own my 5 OC's *shot* who are based off of real people AND NO FANGIRLS, I HAVE SWORN TO MYSELF THAT THEY WILL NOT BE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ANY OF YOUR LUST NATIONS BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE ROMANCE/FLUFF/SMUT FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Plus, I'm asexual. **

**...**

**TMI no? But yesh, 5 OC's and future ideas and concepts (which will be clearly outlined with permission from LolliDictator herself) do belong to me.**

Typed-2012/05/21

Note- Rating can range from T- M from swearing, depending on your opinion. Though it will be marked as T for now unless otherwise deemed so.**  
**

Read and review, those who do make it through this first chapter thing.

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Chapter One- How it All Started

"You didn't. You are lying. I am hearing things. I-" the brunette began calmly before starting to rant with a slightly mad gleam in her eye as she stared down the raven-haired girl who was backed into the corner of what was known as 'The Tech Room'.

"She did Cynthia. Now calm the hell down." A blonde interjected bluntly from behind, staring boredly at the two.

Ignoring the interruption, she continued, "-am doped up on something that was slipped into my food by blondie over here for shits and giggles, because I did NOT just hear you say that you 'accidentally' clicked on some ad that JUST so happens to advertise 'Hetalia Units' which will be sent to us in a few days."

_Flashback_

_First day of summer vacation and a certain (coughcrazyashellcough) raven-haired, glasses wearing girl was surfing the Internet out of sheer boredom as she and her two friends along with THEIR siblings were dropped off at their cottage- the latter four all doing something else. _

_So, she couldn't really be blamed (she could in all reality) when her slightly selective ADHD mind (selective so that when doing work, she wouldn't be affected by it) spotted a rather colourful ad advertising 'Hetalia Units'. Sure of the fact that it was just some fake thing to lure unsuspecting fangirls into buying completely useless merchandise, brown eyes lazily followed the little white arrow as it clicked on the thing._

_But instead of some stupidly designed page asking for personal information like some creepy stalker, a simple message appeared._

'_Thank you for ordering your Hetalia Axis Powers/World Series Units courtesy of Flying Mint Bunny Delivery Service__! They will be delivered to your location in approximately a day! We enjoyed doing business with you and hope you have a great day!'_

'_Business? What the hell?'_

_It was then that she noticed the fine print and the bottom of the ad on the side of the page._

'_In clicking this ad you agree to allow us of Flying Mint Bunny Delivery Service__ to trace you through your IP address and thus by proxy your location with full legal consent, thus removing any possibility of you suing us or other problems. Your address and personal information will be used for the company and other parties' use and we will contact you should anything occur. For more information, click this link.'_

'_Stalker much?' thought the teen drily before the full weight of the information sank in. _

_Her eyes widened. "Oh hell."_

_End Flashback_

"Eheh, um, oops?" was the offered reply from the guilty party, who honestly only looked guilty for fear of her life at the moment.

"Dammit Rowena." The former turned to the wall and slammed her head against it. "Muffin I hate my life."

The raven haired girl blinked, glasses perched precariously on her nose, "Why do you say that?"

"I'm atheist. We ALL are. And I've told you before."

"I forgot."

Fighting the urge to smack her head again (because that would not be mature at all, despite not being the oldest of the group, no, that was the _dumbass_ who clicked on the _**stupid ad**_), Cynthia's eye twitched. The mad gleam also dimmed. "It's because the Muffin was invented as an interjection to replace God since I am not atheist and also for the fact that it's something that keeps you sane. Normal, healthy, and tasty. There's something for everyone in the Muffin, and it accepts all."

"How are you still atheist if you have beliefs in something?" asked the glasses wearing girl with wide eyes.

"Because as much as it is a belief, it's not a religion consider 1) no one but me knows or accepts it, 2) I don't actually worship it and 3) like number one, there's nothing in honour of it." The brunette explained dryly in a semi-monotone voice as she closed her eyes tiredly.

"Oh. What about-"

"NO. Ice cream does not count, because of the ridiculous amount of sugar in it."

"But-"

"_NO_. The cookie does not count either."

"But there's not as much sugar in it!"

"It still does not count because- WAIT!" The mad gleam returned with a vengeance as Cynthia's head whipped around. "You bitch! You're trying to distract me from the topic!"

Sweat poured down the elder in rivets, "Uh, noooooo. Why would you think that?"

"The fact that _you're trying to crawl away from me. _GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! I NEED TO KILL YOU!"

Completely dropping the act, Rowena squeaked before scrambling up and running for the door while the mad-woman- err, angry girl tore after her like a woman possessed. Lazily watching the two, the blonde commented, "You realize how that sounds right?"

There was a crash and several thuds before a slightly more disheveled looking brunette walked back in, dragging the crying raven-haired girl who was then unceremoniously dropped to the ground. Stalking over to an old and worn beanbag in the room, she plopped into it and crossed her arms sulking. "I hate you."

"Aww, you know you love us Cynthia!"

"_ZORA. SHUT UP AND DIE_." A glare was leveled at her friend.

"Either way, bitchin' isn't going to help us, so just deal with it. And you're rambling again." Zora shrugged looking amused and too unconcerned as a whole over the matter to the brunette.

Cynthia blinked and sat contemplatively for about a moment before slumping with face in hands, "I'm screwed …Though I really don't care about the last part. Much."

Miraculously coming back to life, the raven-haired girl was now-_somehow- _crouching on a spinny chair, classic Death Note-L style, while munching on a cookie she pulled from who knows where, "Are you still upset over the loss of part of your sanity?"

"Rowena." Came the muffled answer.

"Yeees?"

"Shut. Up. How the hell are we going to deal with Muffin knows how many bloody _countries' units _in our home away from home? How are we going to care for five plus how many more people! Their quirks are not to be shown in front of children, and need I remind you that we have siblings with us! More importantly, how are we going to break this to our parents? 'Oh Rowena accidentally clicked on an ad advertising life-sized units of a show's characters and ordered them' is NOT going to cut it!" ranted Cynthia, sitting up abruptly.

The two other (notably less sane) girls shared an unconcerned look before shrugging. "Improvisation."

"Why am I the only relatively sane and mature one here? On another note, why aren't you worried about our siblings being traumatized for life?"

Rowena blinked, "They're strong enough to handle this. More so than you anyways."

Zora looked thoughtful. "Actually, we could use them to manipulate and bend them to our wills! Nobody except an utter bastard would oppress children."

Cynthia almost looked pained as she stared at them, "...I thought we were friends."

"Yup. That's why we can insult you. " The eldest of the trio smiled happily before her glasses glinted ominously in a rather creepy fashion as she turned to the blonde, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you're thinking what I'm thinking which means that yes, I AM thinking what you're thinking. To the Wainsanity Room!"

A deadpan look was shot in their direction as the brunette jumped moods abruptly. "Do I want to know?"

"It's a play on War and Insanity. It's rather fitting isn't it?" Rowena exclaimed dramatically, glasses sliding down her nose slightly.

"It does." Agreed Zora with a straight face.

"That doesn't even sound right." Cynthia muttered half to herself before looking victorious, "So you admit you're insane!"

Brown and blue-green eyes swung over to her, "Nope. Just that insanity happens there. Plus it annoys you."

"You two are going to enjoy this immensely aren't you?" lamented the (now questionably) only sane person in the room.

"Yup." Chorused the duo.

"Dammit. And stop doing that. It's creepy."

"Then stop the hater's rage dude. Seriously. Plus the whole multi-personality thing is happening again."

Cynthia facepalmed epicly before turning around slammed her head against the wall. "Face; meet your new best friends- the wall and hand."

Rowena giggled disturbingly.

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Har har, yes that indeed was my fail of a chapter-prologue thing. If you do happen to review or add this story to your favourites or whatever, I may just go and do a dance in the middle of public from sheer amazement because of the fact. Then I'll love you forever and ever and ever and ever.

Yes, I am an awkward person by nature. And you will note that it reflects in my writing. Constructive criticism and flames are all welcomed. I will try to reply through PM or AN's if possible. Though the latter may be made fun of or thoroughly flamed back in return in Authoress' notes.

Speaking of which, is getting ridiculously long. I apologize. (See the awkward transitioning from retarded douchey-ness to all formal and polite? Yeah. ***shot***)

Kthxbainao.

7


	2. Chapter 2

**4 reviews? Not bad. Considering my fail update schedule with is sporadic at best and the fact that I'm a total noob, but I digress. But seriously, even without the reviews, I popped into my stats page and BAM- In the span of 20 days and 1 chapter; 110 hits and 92 visitors. **

**I'm actually sadly proud of that fact. Sue me.**

**But yes, either way, I'm going to try to keep updating and whatever. If there's a problem, say ridiculous OOC-ness or illogical areas or just plain old commentary, review. *shot for shameless review-hoarding* Thanks so far to the two anons and Creek-Hitatchiin and LolliDicator or now etc. 1995 for their reviews. It brings me great joy.**

**Disclaimer- Do we honestly need to do this? If I owned Hetalia-Axis Powers or World Series I'd be churning out new characters and episodes like a clockwork. WHERE'S SEASON 5 DAMMIT? **

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Chapter 2- Awesome My Ass

You know that feeling you get when you know something's wrong, but you don't know what or why?

Yeah, Cynthia was getting that feeling right now.

It started out small (like all things did and do); just a faint presence in her chest and back of her mind. Discovering it in the ungodly- I mean- un_muffinly_ hours of dawn at which she liked to start her day, she dismissed it as a bad night of sleep.

When it faded after a few minutes then returned with a vengeance almost immediately after, she grew slightly worried.

Growing in discomfort throughout her morning ritual, she paled as she realized what it was.

Sitting down at the breakfast table in the kitchen of their cottage in Northern Ontario- a joint effort between the three families- Cynthia slammed her head onto the polished wood.

Not a moment later did Rowena's head pop through the doorway with a bagel in her mouth. "I heard a bang."

Having heard her friend's approach, the former merely turned her head to the side to shoot a blank look at the other. "…"

"Oh. Okay."

The brunette sighed as she stood up and headed for the fridge, "Carry on. I'll go make breakfast."

The other girl frowned as she followed her friend and temporary housemate, "I still don't understand why you and Zora won't let me cook."

"You can only use the microwave and toaster safely. Last time you tried to make waffles, you set the waffle maker on fire." The former deadpanned as she pulled bacon, bread and an assortment of other foods from their various places around the kitchen.

"That was once!" protested Rowena as she sat down.

"Once too many considering the oven incident, the stove incident, the dishwasher incident and the sink incident. I don't even know how the last two happened." Commented Cynthia drily.

"It was an accident! Besides, what about the time with the egg beater-"

A snarl ripped its way out of the usually calm brunette as she brandished a frying pan she'd just pulled out, "Eat your bagel damn you!"

Much like a kicked puppy, Rowena shrank back with a slight whimper as the other girl took a calming breath before exhaling. Turning to the stove, she spoke once again, "Toast, waffles, French Toast, or pancakes?"

"Pancakes," replied the raven haired girl without missing a beat and back to her normal self.

"Bacon and eggs?"

"Yup."

"Fruits?"

"Mm-hm."

"Milk and yogurt?"

A nod.

"…A little bit of everything?"

A flash of the elder's true maturity showed itself through a knowing and amused glance at her slightly annoyed companion. "I was wondering when you'd catch on."

They stayed in a comfortable silence for a while before the last of the trio stepped into the kitchen, yawning. "I need coffee. With sugar. _LOTS _of sugar."

"Get it yourself."

The brunette was sent a disgruntled stare, "It's eight in the morning. I don't wake up at eight without. My. Coffee."

"What am I, your slave?"

"Yes, yes you are."

The sole (once again, questionably) sane person in the room shot a look that was a mix of exasperated, incredulous, stubborn and accepting towards her friend. "…"

Zora made a shooing motion with her hands. "Fetch mah coffee slave."

Cynthia slumped in defeat as she trudged over to the coffee maker with cup in hand. "I hate you."

"Not that you haven't mentioned that a million times already, but good to know." Remarked the other disinterestedly as she smeared jam over her toast.

The brunette sighed as she placed the now filled cup on the table in front of her friend. "I trust that you can at least manage to do the rest?" she questioned drily, "I need to get the other two up."

Disappearing up the stairs, the blond dumped some sugar into her coffee before reaching over to steal the spoon from her other friend's hand. Rowena stared blankly at the other who was stirring her drink idly for a moment until she sighed and merely tore off the top of the yogurt and drank it.

It was at that moment when the doorbell rang. Blue-green and gray met and it was deemed that the elder would go and answer it, seeing as how the missing member of the trio apparently had yet to wake the two younger children.

Whining slightly, the childish girl gave in, dragging herself to the front door after grabbing another bagel. A startled delivery man met her eyes as she opened the door, staring at her in all her morning glory; slightly mussed up hair with a white T-shirt and blue shorts for summertime. Short, light brown hair, slightly dark green eyes with a lean build; he looked every bit the average fresh-out-of-college guy. Behind him was a large box; big enough to fit a grown man inside. Leaning against the doorframe, she waved, munching on her bagel all the while and looking amused. "Greetings and salutations. What is thy name stranger? Would you like a bagel?"

"Uh, Benjamin Smith. And no thanks."

"Welcome to the Funhouse, where chaos and insanity reign from eight in the morning to Muffin-knows when during the summer. How may I help you?"

"I have an order for one….Rowena Chang…?" Benjamin checked his clipboard for the name before nodding in satisfaction.

Amused slate-gray eyes shifted to suspicious in an instant as the girl eyed him warily, causing the older man (nearly twice her age actually) to sweat nervously, heartbeat racing at the look, "And you know my name and address how?"

'_I didn't sign up for this!' _ wailed the man mentally as he tried to gather himself, "Um, the company tracks down the location and personal information when each order is made-"

'_Oh. Right. They said that in the ad. Whatever, time to scare the crap out of him.' _"This information is kept confidential right? Because you know, here we are in the Great Outdoors of Canada, where t'is quite easy to become _lost_ in the forest and surrounding areas, never to be seen again. We wouldn't want anyone accidentally coming up here because someone got the wrong address to disappear, hmm?" drawled the girl nonchalantly.

It was becoming sort of hard to keep up the façade, considering the panicky look on Benjamin's face and it was all she could do to not laugh as he stammered out a reply, "O-of c-c-course!"

"Ah, good. Then I trust we'll get along just fine." Her persona took a 180 degree turnaround as she beamed childishly at him. "Coffee?"

The man was on the verge of breaking down, "No thank you!"

Rowena hummed, "Mm-kay then, what didja want then mister?"

"Your delivery." He carried the large box into the lobby and set it down with a grunt before shoving a clipboard into her face. "Just sign here. Normally I'd ask for a legal adults signature, but um," the man shrank into himself. "You seem plenty mature, so this is fine. Besides, I pity anyone who meets up with you." The last part was mumbled quickly, quietly, and extremely nervously.

Signing the forms with a flourish (after she read the fine print this time), she handed it back to Benjamin. "Here!"

"Thank you! Have a great day!" By the last words, he was already in his van with the engine growling as it pulled away. 'Flying Mint Bunny Inc.' was painted onto the side of the white van in green bubble letters with the namesake- Flying Mint Bunny painted on as well.

Once in the van and a safe distance away, Benjamin Smith Jr. sighed in relief before remembering that he was this house's designated delivery man and resisted the urge to bang his head into the steering wheel. Despite there not being any other cars on this stretch of road, he was in a forest, which meant trees.

'_I don't get paid enough for this!'_

-LineBreak-

Back at the cottage, Rowena was staring at the box with Zora soon joining her, cup of coffee in hand, "Heard you traumatizing the dude."

"Mm-hm."

"Great job. Now are we going to open this box or what? I'm starving."

The raven-haired girl deadpanned, acting like the sarcastic rebellious teen she supposedly should be. "I'm shocked. You waited for us instead of just eating everything and then disappearing for an hour."

The other waved it off, the motion causing her coffee to slosh around a bit in the cup, "Don't be; there's a first time for everything. Now, box?"

Glasses sliding down her nose, the former sighed at her friend's impatience and grabbed the small package attached to the outside of the box and ripped it open. Inside was a small booklet which she flipped open, gray eyes scanning the information while a smile gradually grew across her face.

Raising an eyebrow at the creepy smile, the younger questioned her, "Dude. What's with the creepy-ass face?"

Simply handing the booklet over to the blond who quickly skimmed through it, a similar, but much more sadistic grin etched itself onto her face.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Rowena.

"I'm pretty fucking sure I'm thinking what you're thinking."

"You grab the kids?"

"You enact the plan." Confirmed Zora.

-LineBreak-

Due to the fact that all three families had bought this cottage together (after many years of money hoarding and tight spending) and the fact that all three of the older children had piano plus the fact that the previous owner had experience as well, the cottage had come with a grand piano.

And Cynthia was currently wondering if she should be worried that Paulina was near dragging her younger sister and the latter's younger brother down the hall cackling while Rowena was asking her to play the piano.

Eyeing her friend warily, she dared to ask. "Why?"

"Oh no reason, just felt like it. Please?" The seemingly innocent smile on the glasses wearing girl's face tipped her off, added to the fact that for once, her glasses weren't slipping off.

Rowena's glasses were always slipping unless she was planning something.

"No."

Seeing that her friend would not be persuaded otherwise, the raven-haired girl employed her last resort.

"Cynthiaaaaa…" She drawled in a creepy and ominous - and slightly nerve-wracking tone as she dug her fingers into the pressure points on the younger brunette's neck. "Please?"

So, Cynthia caved if only to stop her friend from using that disturbing mature voice again as well as have her release her pressure points. Which the raven-haired girl was secretly thankful for as if she had to use it too often, it wouldn't work as well.

Not that her younger friend needed to know that.

-LineBreak-

Situated at the piano which faced the wall opposite the windows of the room with the rest of the small group sitting on the comfortable couches and chairs behind the instrument in a U shape around a coffee table with a flat-screen in front of that, they were finally ready. The brunette sat at the piano, fingers settles lightly against the keys as the others were on the couches with plates of breakfast in their hands. Her own plate sat waiting for her with a stack of wonderful, fluffy, tasty, delectable, delicious-

"Hey, Nerd. Get on with it."

The brunette sighed as she shot an annoyed look at the other girl who was staring at her with an expectant expression while chewing on her pancakes. As if summoned by the very thought of food, a growl came from her stomach.

"I can't understand why you need me to do this here and now when either one of you can do it _and_ later."

"One- we feel like it. Deal. Two- we still feel like it. Now play." The blond spoke as if it was obvious.

Rolling her eyes, the former replied sarcastically, "But of course. Why on earth would it be anything else? What do you want me to play?"

"I don't really care either way just play."

Finally, her very own little (not that much considering she was ten) sister- younger than her by a good five years- Cheryl, piped up, "Coldplay sis. Viva la Vida. Please?"

Her eyes lit up with that pleading but not quite puppy-dog eyes look and Cynthia sighed in acceptance, turning away to play. This movement caused her to miss the smirk that she and the two older girls shared while Zora's younger brother, Luka looked exasperatedly at his older sibling and friends' actions. Sometimes he and Cynthia wondered if they were actually related while Zora and Cheryl were siblings with the way they acted.

Beginning the song, gradually the 'middle child' of the trio relaxed, causing the other three girls to grin as their eyes honed in on the box still standing where the delivery man set it down as it began to shake. While Luka thought it was sort of cruel to deprive the brunette of her breakfast and to let the events run its course, he couldn't really be bothered to do so since deep down, he was also curious as to what would happen. Though he did spare a prayer for his friend as he had been explained to as what would happen.

-LineBreak-

The first thing he thought coming to was, '_Why the fuck is the Awesome-Me in a box?'_

Slowly as he woke up properly for the first time in God knows when, the memories returned to him and he snorted upon remembering the multiple government agents pouncing upon him with rope and chloroform.

As if they could get rid of the Awesome him. Though he did wonder about West, he put that to the back of his mind for now. West was tough; his bruder _was_ raised by yours truly after all.

The second thing was the noticeable sound of a piano being played.

And a piano meant one thing.

With a devious grin that more than a few people would understand, he slowly searched the box for a latch or weak spot to open it. Finding one quickly, he eased one side of the construct open before slipping out of it silently and towards the source of the music. Never mind the house's floor plan seemed slightly off and the music it was a different style than what the man usually played, it was the freakin' piano for the love of God. Who else would play it?

Inching towards the opening of the room, he steeled himself before lunging forward to tackle the person off the bench.

There was a yelp and he frowned; Roddy was never caught off guard. The victim in question was also quite a bit shorter than the Austrian, and the voice was a lot more feminine. Plus there was the fact that whoever it was felt…soft?

Putting those facts and the odd floor plan and different piano style (which he also noticed that didn't sound as good as the man, not that he would ever admit it), his eyes widened with the implications. He only had a moment to react as a fist came swinging down on his head.

"Oh shi-"

-LineBreak-

Five minutes later and Cynthia's 'mysterious' assaulter had an ice pack for his head and a plate of pancakes in front of him, along with breakfast entertainment as he watched the girl stare at the three others while the lone male of the group sat beside him, looking bored.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You know you have no real leverage over us right?" commented the blond looking nonchalant.

"Ah, that's what you think." Remarked the brunette lightly- unconcernedly. "But you don't know what I do."

A snort. "Lies. You have no blackmail over us, nor can you threaten us in anyway."

"Mm, true. But you don't know what I can do."

"Like?"

An eyebrow was raised, "Now why would I tell you that?"

There was no reply, only a shrug.

Sighing, the latter turned around towards him, "I apologize for ignoring you. I'm Cynthia Hui and the bratling on the couch is Cheryl Hui. We're siblings. Blondie is Zora Adler and beside you is her brother Luka Adler. Crazy glasses girl is Rowena Chang."

The first waved while the latter two grinned like loons. The lone male nodded at him. Like a boss.

He chuckled, "No problem mädchen. You can call me Your Awesomene-"

Luka interrupted, looking bored as ever. "You're Gilbert Beilschmidt, though apparently referenced as to Prussia, though more so East Germany than anything these days."

Rather than looking insulted, the silverette merely grinned, "Kesesesese! So you've heard of the Awesome Prussia!"

Zora shrugged somewhat, "You could say that."

-LineBreak-

Despite grinning and playing the nonchalant guy, the Prussian was inwardly analyzing everything around him. First he's jumped by a bunch of government agents- if they _were_ government agents, then he's knocked out, after waking up and finding himself in a _box_ for the love of Gott, he finds out he's most likely not in Germany anymore. All of it was quite fishy if you ask him. He didn't survive being a former nation for centuries by being a retard after all.

Analyzing his hosts, he noted that the look in their eyes was mostly expectation and varying states of either dismay or glee- both not unexpected considering the fact that they were apparently expecting him to be the normal, run-of-the-mill guy who gets trapped in a box. Or not.

But considering they weren't freaking out over having a nation in their room, most likely it was something to do with the plan. It'd been implemented a few years back by Japan and then carried on by the other nations through that whole anime thingymebob to hide the nation personifications' existence along with 'human names' and forged files for the public should someone search for them.

_What was it again…? _Mused the ex-nation absentmindedly. _Het-something. _

Focusing once more, he continued to think over his situation. The fact that his hosts were speaking English, he could only deduce that he was most likely in the United States or the United Kingdom. Both respectively the turf of an arrogant, slightly alien and hamburger obsessed and occasionally (cough, most of the time, cough) stupid super-power, or a crotchety, grumpy former pirate nation who loved tea way too much and hallucinated of magical creatures half the time.

Then again, he could be in Birdie's country…That wouldn't be hoping for too much would it? Also considering that it appeared to be located in the country-side (not that that spoke of much in specific locations), but the fact was, there was a stack of pancakes in front of him.

Only Birdie would cook pancakes. Thus by proxy, his citizens.

Speaking of which, the older three seemed to be in their mid-teens or so while the younger were a good several years younger. Three Oriental-Asians (of which he noted to be Rowena- or Glasses as he dubbed her mentally, Cynthia- nickname was pending, and Cheryl- officially dubbed Mädchen in order of age, or so he guessed) and two most probable Europeans plus siblings (Zora and Luka, or Crazy Bitch and Little Soldier respectively. Don't ask where he got that.).

Glasses was probably around sixteen or so and average in terms of height for her age. Black hair was tied back into a low pony-tail while her face was framed by her bangs. She was wearing a deep blue T-shirt that read, 'Embrace your inner child,' with gray shorts and was barefoot. Judging from what he'd seen so far, plus the T-shirt, it gave him a pretty good idea of her personality.

Cynthia simply put was pretty much Roddy in terms of personality so far; mature, rather serious, exasperated a good amount of the time due to the actions of those around her and so on. One thing that she did differ from the man though, was that she could punch pretty hard, plus the fact that she could in a sense control her friends. Looking approximately fifteen or so and also standing at an average height, layered dark brown- almost black hair fell to her shoulders and covered her right eye slightly in a somewhat 'emo' look. Dressed in a white tank top- a blue crystal necklace hanging around her neck with a sleeveless pale gray zip-up sweater, matching capris and white ankle socks she looked every bit the typical Asian girl.

Her younger sister on the other hand stood at a slightly above-average height for her rough ten-years old look with hair like her sister's tied back in a loose braid that fell to her shoulder blades and a radiant smile on her face. She reminded him of Italy, well, a more clever and not-quite-oblivious Italy. Who was a girl. A forest green T-shirt with a little girl in a yellow dinosaur suit on the front adorned her, reading, 'Rawr, that means I love you in dinosaur,' underneath it matched with a denim skort.

Zora (Crazy Bitch as he noted mentally) was the tallest amongst group, beating the oldest by a good few centimetres and had dirty-blond streaked hair tied into a high ponytail. She was dressed in a gray T-shirt showing an orange being juiced while two others watched on screaming 'Nooo!' whilst the juicer smirked evilly and jean shorts with white ankles socks. A vaguely disturbing and somewhat familiar grin was etched across her face, and the silverette could not for the love of his life figure out where he'd seen it before.

Luka had slightly long, messy blond hair and stood just about even with Cheryl. He bore a simple red T-shirt with black tribal designs on it, forming what looked like a wicked sword that stretched across the front with a smaller circular design on the back and light brown cargo shorts with pale gray ankle socks. He had a distinct calm, go-with the flow but interrupt when necessary kind of feel to him as he locked eyes with the Prussian

and stared unflinchingly at crimson.

Keeping up his façade he took a bite out of his food and swallowed before asking, "So, where am I then?"

"North Ontario, Canada, which is NOT part of America, North America, the World." Cynthia and Luka intoned in dual flat voices. "No, there aren't any polar bears or moose or igloos down the street."

Now, the man looked offended, "You think I'm that unawesome to not know that?"

Both blinked before relaxing, with Luka then explaining, "Force of habit. We live in an area that gets quite a few visitors from around the world and they sometimes don't know their facts well enough. Sorry."

It was waved off, and Prussia merely sat up and finished his plate of food before glancing around at the room full of teens and pre-teens. "So…What do you guys do around here for kicks?"

"Go hiking, swim, drink, fish, boat, drink, kayak, drink, watch TV, play video games, drink, sports, various board and card games, drink, crazy-ass games of Ninja Man Hunt, drink, read, draw, talk, drink, dance-off, and drink and etc." Zora counted, ticking each one off with a finger and starting over when the number exceeded her finger counter.

Adding this to the information in his head and his gut feeling, Prussia deduced that he was most likely not going to be screwed over and potentially be seriously harmed in any possible way and smirked approvingly at the five. "Nice."

Suddenly, Rowena jumped up and grabbed a pillow from the couches before hurling it at Cynthia who dodged at the very last second with an unclear 'holy shit!' escaping her as she rolled out of the way. "RANDOM BADASS PILLOW FIGHT!"

_Never mind,_ he thought as he watched the ensuing events that followed.

* * *

**Oh, yeah. I've messed with the plot in the way that an authoress with a creative license can; it'll probably make more sense later if one does not get it now, but if anything, the review button and PM option are both available. **

**Hopefully I won't be such a tard and wait 20 freakin' days again to do this...Muffin I'm an idiot. I also apologize in advance if you see chapters re-uploaded multiple times; that's just me making minor adjustments because I'm weird like that. No, I'm somewhat OCD and Perfectionist while not. And insane. Did I mention that?**

**(Did you see what I did there?)**

**7**


	3. Chapter 3

**Soooo...Hi. Apparently chapter two was rather well received, and on accounts of my doubtful updating until the near end of the month and a promise to a friend, I am updating chapter three today. The hit count just about smacked me in the face when I looked at it, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I puffed up in pride _just_ a bit. Like Iceland's Boss Gangster Puffin. :)**

**I apologize for the mass blocks of text. (-_-) N00b is n00b unfortunately. Leave a comment if there's anything you want to say...*wink wink nudge nugde hint hint***

**Thanks once again (even if I already mentioned you) to est. 1995, CookieMonster, winterfire.11, Creek-Hitatchiin, InSaNeAngelsgottanAK47 (THAT IS A PAIN FOR MY FINGERS *RAGE*), Pedro-IS-Madi12, yami-of-the-darkness, and xXNovenusPrimeXx. You are all awesome. Yes. PRUSSIA AWESOME. ****  
**

**Disclaimer- Hetalia Axis Powers and World Series both don't belong to me. Unfortunately. Because if they did, they'd feature the Ancients A LOT MORE. Who doesn't want to see Ancient Egypt and Ancient Greece? I bet you they're kick-ass. And Grandpa Rome and Legolas Germania.**

* * *

Chapter Three- The Bucket List

After the impromptu Battle-Royal Style Pillow Fight, Cynthia pretty much more or less in no uncertain terms told the rest of the group to give their new guest a tour of the cottage while she cleaned up the place. Or 'Get-the-bloody-hell-out-of-the-room-NAO' in less polite terms.

In discreetly meeting Luka's questioning and slightly begging eyes of _why would she be so cruel to subject him to this_, she merely smirked and mouthed, _Payback's a bitch._

Of course, she'd left him to – using this term loosely- supervise the rest of the group as he knew about his pseudo-family's penchant for chaos wherever they went, and being one of the two more often than not members of the group usually shared the job of running damage control for whatever they did. Adding Cheryl's sweet little girl façade she used quite often as a distraction coupled with Zora's sadism in torturing others mentally, physically, or emotionally along with Rowena's rather creative mind and _sheer disturbing childishness_, it wasn't that hard to see why the pre-teen looked so pained.

So it was with great reluctance that he followed the group of four out of the room to 'supervise' as the youngest of the five girls and boy skipped down the hall, sandwiching Prussia between her and the two other girls behind him. Who were discussing something that bode nothing good for their target from the looks on their faces. Said target was most likely going to be Cynthia, the poor girl.

Tuning back into the conversation, he caught on as the three were giving a brief description of the house as they pointed out the various rooms behind the doors in the halls to the left, right and front.

"-So you see the stairs on your left that lead to upstairs and one more floor under, and across the hall from that is a bathroom while to your right is the kitchen. Big-ass place it is, and also connects to the deck which gives you an awesome view of the lake and sky. You look at the end of the hall there is a side door to exit whenever needed, also doubling as one of several emergency exits we have around the house." Zora explained, pointing out each room.

"When we bought the place, we completely refurnished it with new furniture, paintjobs, design and etc. for attracting customers when we're not using it and for our own use. It's a sort of modern slash old-style cottage décor and theme, courtesy of Sis who designed it. She is also the person who keeps it clean, organized, and etc. when we're here, the poor girl. Not." The evil youngest female snickered at her sibling's misfortune.

The lone sane male sighed before adding his two cents, "She's pretty much the slave here, doing all the housework. Of which includes the laundry, cleaning the house daily or weekly, watering the plants, a lot of the cooking and so on. Add the various factors like the size of the house, and the number of plants…Well, you can tell. "

And snicker escaped him and Prussia's eyes gleamed as he took in the long room- the fore-mentioned door to the 'backyard' directly adjacent to the one leading to the kitchen with a large table situated between them. The entire left wall was the cooking area, complete with all that was necessary including more cabinets and drawers than needed, a humongous fridge, a tall separate cabinet in which polished china lay stacked, a cooler and island. "Awesome. You got any beer here?"

The blond smirked as she stalked over to the cooler and pulled out two ice cold beers and tossed one to the Prussian who caught it and glanced it over before looking approving. "Place is stocked with everything we need. Most of the year we just rent it out for people at ridiculously good prices that guarantee customers and rake in enough cash for leftovers to pay for stuff like TV, Internet, and whole lot of things we otherwise wouldn't be able to get. Thus, the food we have."

Luka stared blankly at his sibling. "We just had breakfast."

He got a shrug for his efforts. "So? There's always time for alcohol. Anyways, let's go." Turning to outside of the room again, the girl pointed out two doors on the opposite side. "Left is another of the first floor bathrooms while right is a bedroom."

Leaving the kitchen, they returned to the lobby area from which extended another two smaller halls. Here, Rowena picked up the slack as Zora savoured her beer, "The left, or right if you're entering, hall leads to the 16-people home theatre and the library while on the right, we have two more connecting bedrooms as well as a storage room."

Returning to the where the main halls all met, they went up the stairs until they stepped into another hall, though this one much larger than the ones on the first floor. It connected to a large living room where multiple doors were located, each leading to most presumable, a bedroom or bathroom. In the center of the room was a large conference/dining table, capable of easily seating a dozen people with matching chairs. Farther down, was a huge couch with two smaller ones to the sides of it, all sitting in front of one gigantic flat-screen TV that was a good 118 inches with all of the latest game systems plugged in front. Wii, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3; even a few older ones were there.

Had he not had a good control over his body or have seen mansions rivaling this cottage (such as his bruder's), the Prussian most likely would've spewed his beer (Lowenbrau Original, German- Crazy bitch had good taste at least) which would've been a shame.

As per man law number one stated in all its wisdom- no beer wasted in the name of humor. Or anything.

No, instead with all the control borne of years and years of being a soldier and nation despite his rather brash and arrogant personality (and as an upholder of the International Man-Law), he merely took a gulp of his beer and scanned the room. "I've seen bigger and fancier, but I like this place already."

His fellow male companion merely nodded, "That's alright. When we bought the place, the old owner really had no more use for it since he was moving to someplace over on the other side of the world. Gave us a really great price too, and so we saved a lot which led to Cynthia in all her artist rage and OCD glory redesigning the place. We tried to go for simple as possible, though it didn't quite turn out that way." The boy shot the three other girls a look.

His sister merely snorted. "Like you don't think having five TV's is badass."

An annoyed and semi-serious edge entered into Luka's, as he retorted, "No, I didn't but five is completely unnecessary. It's both a waste of money and resources."

"I swear you that you and Cheryl were switched at birth, you act more like Cynthia than she does," Zora sighed in a mocking dramatic tone. "Why so serious?"

The boy snorted, "Someone needs to be serious to keep us out of trouble and it's obviously not you."

Throughout all this, the others looked unconcerned, so the man guessed that this was a common argument. As the siblings continued to bicker, the eldest of the five stepped to a set of door on the right of the hall, right in front of stairs. "Most of these are all bedrooms, with the exception of those two," she pointed to two doors directly across the room placed closer than norm together. "-Which are bathrooms. Around the corner from there directly down the mini-hall is a giant walk-in closet for all the gear and so on, plus the master bedroom."

Flinging open the doors with a flourish, she immediately began to point everything out, "This room is directly above the first floor great room, and is a mix of living/big-ass unofficial bedroom considering the bunk beds over there," The teen nodded toward the beds in question in each corner of the room, closest to the door. "There's the Awesome Couch, couple of bookshelves, chairs and coffee tables and whatnot, plus desk. And the dressers-can't forget about that. Usually we just store extra stuff there in case we need to, though that's rarely since we have all this storage space. So we leave it for the guests to use. The door on the left wall connects to the master bedroom. I'll show you."

Prussia just nodded, before a thought passed through his mind, "Where the hell did you get all the money for this shit?"

A flash of something crossed the girl's face so fast that the man almost thought that he'd imagined it before Rowena blinked and pushed her glasses up as they slid down her nose, "Well, it was a joint effort between the three of our families considering everything and cost us a good million."

A voice rang out behind them, startling the nation though he didn't show it outwardly. "Three million nine hundred thousand or so if I recall."

The momentary seriousness that'd overtaken the elder Asian vanished as a cheerful expression appeared as she tackle-glomped the younger. "Cynthia! You made it!"

Eyes widening, Cynthia side-stepped the assault and followed her friend's motion as she landed, wary of another attack. When the raven-haired girl pouted, she sighed knowing she was safe before looking annoyed, "It wasn't like I was just coming from around the world or something." Straightening, she pulled the other off the ground before shoving her hands in her pockets and jerking her head towards the door. "Let's get on with the tour."

-LineBreak-

An hour or so later having seen the rest of the house, they returned to the great room, which the nation now noted to also have two bunk beds in the far corner, a pool and foosball table, along with a series of couches positioned around a coffee table in front of yet another television. Then, there was also of course, the piano.

It'd been quite impressive in all actuality, both the house and the fact that their parents had let three teens and two pre-teens live alone in a giant cottage in the middle of the forest with no one to check on them. The three elder children (they were still in a sense kids to the Prussian, considering he was well over several hundred years old) had explained that their parents usually couldn't look after them during the summer as they were slightly higher up on the food-chain in their companies. Thus, they were often sent overseas or plain overworked during this time as their children were freed up from school and capable of taking care of themselves.

Most parents would still be worried though. The parents of the five didn't. Their children had this 10 official-bedroom, 6 bathroom, house with a large kitchen and storage stocked with enough food to feed a small army, study, living room, great room, basement and home theatre plus a waterfront view and a great deal of security (cough, security cameras and trip lasers with various emergency systems, cough). When he asked about the reason for buying this "Big-ass monster of a cottage", Zora had looked away, Cynthia had muttered immensely irritated and more than a bit aggravated about 'muffin-damned stupid adults and their ridiculous money wasting ideas' and Rowena had grinned in a slightly off manner.

He'd thought that the blonde's reaction was more than a bit odd, since from what he could tell from their personalities, she was quite similar to himself. Which would mean that she was hiding something. An attempt to ask was quickly shot down when the oldest of the five smiled at him. Childishly.

Gott, that girl was more than a bit creepy.

By now it was almost lunch time and they were in the midst of doing their own respective things (Zora was sitting on the couches and shuffling through channels, Luka and Cheryl debating whether Pokémon was getting better or plunging towards imminent doom, Rowena reading…._something_ on the laptop) when it hit.

"…" The lone glasses wearing girl looked up and at her blonde friend who shared the glance before turning to look at the last of the trio who'd been lying quietly on one of the two bunk beds in the great room.

Now though…

The girl froze for a moment, drawing all eyes to her, before suddenly flipping into an upright position and jumping off the bed. Maneuvering around the furniture, she disappeared into the kitchen where rapid swearing was then heard in English, French, and a few other select languages.

Prussia blinked crimson eyes. "Is that fucking normal for her?"

Luka sighed, "Unfortunately yes. Living with the rest of them has scarred her mentally in some fashion, even if she's not half as crazy as Sis and Rowena. Some include slight OCD, withdrawing into reading, writing and drawing to deal with stress and insanity, along with an obsession with Muffins."

Said fore-mentioned girl suddenly burst into the room again with a paper and pencil in hand and all but flung herself at the nearest table-namely the coffee table. Semi-neat but sloppy (if that made sense) writing began filling out the page and the man stared at a few of them while reading over the brunette's shoulder.

"What the hell? 'Update my will'?" The shot silverette her a look. "You dying or something?"

"Nope. Just in case I don't survive the summer in partaking or trying to prevent something stupid that my friends set up, or die in an accident or something. Like getting run over by a drunk and then having my spine and multiple bones, organs, arteries and veins crushed then reducing a good 35% of me to bloody, gory pulp." Cynthia replied, straight-faced.

"…You are one morbid kid."

" So I've been told," quipped the girl.

A scrutinizing, baffled and slightly disturbed stare was focused on the back of her neck, as she heard the man doing so finally say something. "…I'm going to ignore that creepy answer."

"You do that."

A few more minutes later, the list was done. And it was surprisingly long, with more than one answer being rather disturbing/morbid/plain creepy. Such things included the fore-mentioned updating of the girl's will, making some rather dark art and/or stories, and so on. Like combing dark art with payback for a friend to scare the shit out of an asshole.

From what he could see, it would not be pretty.

"…I think that's everything. Finish off all my homework, finish off my commissions, keep control or run damage control for everything these crazy people," A jerk of the head toward the bored looking Zora and cookie eating Rowena. "-Mess with that bastard, and update my will plus prepare everything in case I do survive another year." She suddenly drooped. "Why should I even need to do all this…? I haven't even done half of my bucket list dammit! And I feel like I'm forgetting something…"

The Prussian clapped a hand onto her shoulder. "Don't be so unawesome fraulein! Live a little! Play hard, party hard and drink hard!"

"…Why is it that I feel like that was meant to sound sexual?" Came the deadpan reply.

"Kesesesesese! I didn't take you for the perverted type fraulein."

"Shut up. And why are you calling me 'lady'?"

The silverette raised a brow, "You know German?"

"Nope. Between us Asians, we have a sort of shared mish-mash of known Spanish, Italian and Japanese words while Zora and Luka cover Russian and German, plus some Dutch. Though we all know French for sure."

"Damn. Francis would be all weepy with joy and shit if he were here." Then the middle part of the statement registered and he froze. "Russian? What the fuck?"

"Please, don't give me any images." A traumatized look crossed Cynthia's face as she curled into herself slightly, shooting a paranoid look in her friends' directions, completely disregarding the other's second statement..

"Biploar much? But anyways…the Awesome-Me is bored. Entertain me." Prussia demanded, jumping moods, mentally reassuring himeself. _It's not the fucking bastard, don't freak out. That would be unawesome. It's just their background. Though the creepy ass smiles do make sense now…_

"…" The brunette blinked before her eyes widened and she snapped her fingers, then smacking herself in the head. Motioning to the man to wait, she once again rose and strode out of the room towards the lobby.

A few moments later though, a faint chirp was heard and everyone looked up. Perking up, he grinned as a yellow ball of fluff flew through the hair to land in his silver hair, making itself comfortable. "Gilbird!"

Said bird chirped happily, flapping its wings adorably. "Piyo!"

Cynthia walked through the doorway not a minute later with a strange look on her face, which the Prussian dismissed as the girl being unused to having such levels of Awesome around her. Turning to the rest of the group, he did some introductions, "People, this is my buddy the Awesome Gilbird! Gilbird, that is Glasses, Crazy-Bitch, Mädchen, and the Kleinen Soldaten. And the one who freed you is the Fraulein."

"Aww!" cooed Cheryl, who had an appreciation for all things cute. "Aren't you sweet?"

"Piyo!"

"And you just spent who knows how long in a box without food or water! I'll be right back." The girl turned around and faced her sister. "Pancakes."

The elder of the two eyed her sibling with a gleam in her eye, "I've just found out that I'm going to be screwed over for the next two months or so at least and you want me to do what?"

"Make. Gilbird. Pancakes. NOW."

Apparently mood-swinging was an exhausting thing because the teen snorted as she collapsed face-first onto one of the bunk beds. "No."

The youngest Asian blinked very calmly for a moment before taking a step back and running forward to slam into her sister. Said sister curled in on herself as the wind was knocked out of her and her abdominal region was assaulted by seventy pounds (give or take a few pounds) of pre-pubescent girl, a rush of air escaping her. "Gah! You brat!"

It degenerated from there, the rest of them watching as Cheryl for the most part tried to physically force Cynthia to comply, the latter once recovering, dancing around the former as best as she could with a smarting stomach.

Luka facepalmed at the pair's actions, more so the younger's considering the immense immaturity of them while Zora proceeded to laugh at her peer's misery.

Rowena had sidled up to Prussia and discreetly pulled out a considerable wad of money from somewhere, "Bet you Cheryl wins. Considering your lack of funds, should you lose you'll be my slave for a day. Unless you're too worried of being forced to do degrading things…?" Here, a carefully acted doubting expression overtook her face.

One thing that applied to most guys- don't go for their pride, honour or dignity. Proper thinking in potential sticky situations be damned, that girl had _not_ just called him a coward. "Deal. The Awesome-Me will win for sure. Just don't cry when you fork over the cash Glasses."

The eldest of the five friends (housematesfamilycomrades) cackled mentally as she shook hands with the silently fuming ex-nation. "Oh I won't."

Amongst the chaos, Gilbird once again chirped happily.

* * *

**LAWLZ DERPY CHARACTER INTERACTION IS DERPY. And fail. **

**Any comments or flames or whatever the hell it is will be accepted with glee. Because you're offering encouragement positively in which I thank you gratefully, or negatively in which I continue to update with a disturbing smile on my face to piss you off more. :D And they boost my review count. **

**On another note, anybody interested in being my Beta? I'd like some secondary opinion on things if possible. It just lets me rest my heart a bit more knowing that my SIC for the story is good with it. If I find one.**

**7**


	4. Chapter 4

**Why hallo thar. I am back. **

**I would've updated tomorrow, but in honour of a friend's belated birthday; this is for you bro and no, I don't care that I'm a girl saying this. **

**Also, people have remarked on several things, such as my occasional *cough,constant,cough* run on sentences and nonsensical logic and ideas in my story. Those are good points. As such, I will attempt to go through and nitpick my chapters every five chapters or so, with the help of my new Beta CantoCookieMonster. Give 'em a hand. The logic portion? I will try to make it so that everything does make sense eventually somehow even if really twisted, but note that this is largely crack and not very serious unless it's portraying characters' interactions on historical events which will dip into more serious/dark/angsty sides.**

**Further Ideas and comments; refer to the pretty button below in blue or PM me. I'll respond ASAP, which is usually within 3 hours or so , or minutes if I'm just creeping around the internet that day.**

**Thanks to EmeraldHeart12, Ben56ten, Ilovetoeatpie, Castor Black and all those others who reviewed, commented, PM-ed me, favourited this, subscribed to this, and etc. Yes, I am too lazy to type everything. Sue me.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I would be manipulating all of those serving under me to do my bidding; related to the manga or for my own selfish intentions. YOLO *shot* **

* * *

Chapter Four- Change in Perspective

-Somewhere else, Unknown Time-

In a well-lit, with both natural and artificial light, room, two figures stood. One stood in front of the window that spanned a good portion of the wall and showed a quiet, but by no means small town going through its daily routine. The other standing behind the first in a manner that was both polite yet fully capable of staying in control should a situation occur. Multiple comfortable chairs and sofas littered the room, coffee tables interspaced between them with a desk facing the door, a modern leather chair settled behind it. Various other pieces of furniture were set up around the walls.

All of was picked tastefully for a comfortable, yet somewhat formal feel, though all of this was currently was being ignored by the two.

"Are they here yet?" Questioned the first in a calm voice.

"No sir. But they have stated that they will be here by the start of the meeting." Came the reply from the second. "As with the other groups. Other than that, there are no complications. Should anything happen, Communications will alert us."

The first hummed slightly, continuing to observe the small town of which they'd chosen to host the meeting in. They'd chosen such a town as it was out of the way, and not as likely to react should anything immensely formal happen, more so opting to stay the hospital country-side hosts. Plus, in these areas, it was harder to be attacked what with the smaller region and isolation from large urban areas where it'd be easy for attackers to escape. It also offered anonymity and privacy for the group, as these meetings generally mentioned topics and information that could not even be written down for the most part due to their worth and danger- should it ever fall into the wrong hands.

Silence reigned for the most part before a small voice crackled to life, sounding from the second man's position. _"This is Communications sir. All groups have arrived, been searched and gone through the proper channels. They're being sent in now."_

The figure pressed a finger to a well-hidden headset and replied as appropriate. "Understood." Head lifting, they addressed the first man. "They've arrived sir."

"So they have," agreed the addressed. "Well, let's get this meeting started. If you could do the usual…?"

"Of course sir. Agent Smith will be right outside should you require anything, as will multiple others."

A smile crossed the first's face. "Ah, thank you Williams."

"No problem Mr. President."

-LineBreak-

It was a short while later that all the other world leaders of various countries arrived, gradually filling up the room, which now seemed much smaller with the masses of moving bodies in it. Most of the more notable countries included the UK, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Russia, China, Japan, South Korea and many more, all milling around exchanging greetings and chatting with one another.

Normally it'd be ridiculously difficult to plan and arrange a meeting like this one with so many world leaders without the public discovering, but they'd managed time and again. And for good reason, considering these meetings were both to update each other on the condition of their respective nation personification and to simultaneously vent their frustrations of said personifications out. It was probably the one thing that all of them had agreed to deal with peacefully.

Once they were all settled down and provided with a suitable drink, they began.

The President cleared his throat, standing up, effectively bringing all attention to him and spoke, "Welcome fellow world leaders, to another of our… little meetings. We will be continuing this meeting on a topic that plagues us constantly; how to deal with our nation personifications when they aren't helping out."

A wave of grumbles, mumbles and mutterings of agreement broke out amongst the people as they mentally went over the various troubles that they'd gotten into over the years and had had to have the government themselves bail them out occasionally.

One man spoke up, voice sounding amused, exasperated and a whole plethora of emotions. "Oui. Ve for one 'ave an exhibitionist who insists on spreading l'amour ev'rywhere to ev'ryone, all ze time. I've lost track of 'ow many times 'e's been arrested for streaking vhen drunk and trying to fill otherz vith l'amour."

Another man sitting nearby patted the man on the shoulder sympathetically before telling his own story in a semi-thick accent, "It's rather exasperating to deal with constantly nervous diplomats who are near jumping at every sound from a run in with a six foot two child-like man with a pipe. Everyone understands that Россия has had a difficult past and they all see it, but it is interfering with our efforts to improve our reputation." Eventually, the story-sharing session got under way and all sorts of things were admitted, Switzerland was becoming ever more paranoid and trigger-happy what with all the events lately along with stress. China was somewhat sulking over England hosting the Summer Olympics this year (despite them doing so just four years earlier), while England was going crazy over hosting the Summer Olympics and coming very close to snapping. Japan was quiet and hard-working (not surprisingly) as ever, Spain was still a tomato loving man who was trying to win over Romano (the Italian Prime Minister looked so distressed over the issue, "I mean, Spagna is-a constantly invitin' Romano over and then-a he goes-a and complains to me! I can't-a stop 'im from sending letters!") who was then torn between going and spending time there, pretending to not enjoy it when he really was and just plain avoiding the Spaniard.

England was rather moody these days, ranging from curtly-polite to bipolar to outright PMS-ing due to the current economy and upcoming Olympics, America was getting more caught up in video games and movies more than work, Austria was similar- playing and composing more than actually doing much government work. The personal conflicts between Turkey and Greece were getting even more heated while Egypt mostly tried to ignore them or play peace-keeper, the Baltics were being terrorized by Russia when the latter wasn't terrorizing diplomats and the Nordics were being the Nordics. Which meant being incognito for the most part.

The sharing continued.

Finally finished with what could be accounted as most of the world's various awkward stories with three-quarter drained cups of tea, coffee, or water, they sat in a contemplative silence. Until it was broken.

A knock on the door was the only warning they had before Agent Smith stalked in, dressed in a crisp black suit with a folder under his arm. Short dirty blond hair and gray eyes gave him a serious look which he leveled on every man and woman in the room before sidling over to the President and whispering something into the man's ear and handing the folder over to him. Apparently finishing what he came to do, the blond turned and gave a sharp nod of his head to the rest of the people in the room before once more stalking out of the room gracefully.

Conversation started up again over a variety of topics as their unofficial chairman was occupied by the contents of the folder; did you hear about what happened in so-and so? Which personification was doing what to who? Who exactly was the well-trained agent that'd stalked in? And so on.

It was all cut off once more when the President suddenly looked very satisfied and made a sound of contentment. "It worked!"

Apparently they'd been left out of the loop once more, and the world leaders all watched the man expectantly. Blinking, he smiled apologetically before calling out to Germany's representative, "It worked."

Said representative blinked in equal parts surprise, acceptance and content, "Really? Vell zat's a relief. He's been causing quite a bit of trouble around, vhat vith drinking and annoying others, not to mention his stealing of hiz bruder's vallet. Ve've received multiple complaints from Österreich of him breaking into hiz house and messing around."

Understanding dawned on the faces of the representatives of Austria and Hungary, "You got rid of Prussia? How?"

Multiple others looked semi-horrified while the rest mostly looked curious, "Rid?"

The President made a placating gesture, "Don't worry everyone, it's only a temporary thing. The plan was to take advantage of Operation HIPS and utilize it to our advantage in carting off the most annoying countries off to some part of the world for a unsuspecting victim to take care of. The company we created for this is known as Flying Mint Bunny Inc. , named so for a more convincing act."

A grumble sounded from somewhere in the room, "Who even came up with HIPS? I mean seriously, 'Hiding In Plain Sight'? That's about as unoriginal as you can get."

The President shot a deadpan look at the crowd. "My nine-year old daughter named it, and she actually gave me a rather convincing argument in which she pointed out should things go south, we could pull a fast one and change it to a completely ridiculous one of some fanatic group, like 'Hetalia is Pwn, si?'."

Ever the peace-keeper, Canada's representative (yes, they were seen and not completely ignored) soothed both parties, "Anyways, which country and who exactly got them?"

"You did."

The representative blinked, startled. "I beg your pardon?"

The chairman of the meeting repeated his previous statement. "You did. Well, a few of your citizens at any rate." He handed the folder over to the Canadian. "It's all in here."

Still a little off-center from being the chosen country, his fellow world leader flipped it open and stared at the first page, which listed the personal information of each of the recipients of the 'Hetalia Units' . "This…"

"Is there a problem?" the American inquired, blinking.

"No…" frowned the other. "…But I can't help but feel as though I'm missing or forgetting something…Though it's probably nothing."

The meeting continued, and eventually it was decided that Switzerland, England, Russia, America, France and Spain would be sent to the unknowing recipients of the 'Hetalia Units' as of now, with other nations being sent later on should the need arise.

Switzerland, while one of the nations who actually did their work, was becoming a tad too trigger-happy what with the world's situation these days and a bit of 'down-time' amongst some humans would be good for him.

England was simply too stressed out, yet would not take a vacation due to national duty and from the former-empire's grumblings, '_refuse to be defeated by paperwork- I was an empire once for the love of God!_' This had led to the Englishman becoming increasingly snappy with near everyone, with in turn affected all of the government in some way. Just because it could.

Russia…was being Russia. And the government did NOT need any more traumatized diplomats. Enough said.

America was switching from high as a kite to down in the dumps, with an almost literal rain-cloud hanging over him. One moment he'd be hyperactive to a ridiculous degree where he'd go out eating hamburgers, hanging out with Tony his alien friend and playing on his various game consoles than work before crashing down hard. In this time, he'd slog through work, determinedly no matter how slow or inefficiently or detrimental it was to his health and all but seclude himself in his office. It was really rather worrying.

France, on a high from the number of visitors to his country _again_, was constantly out drinking with the rest of the Bad Touch Trio, flirting with people- male and female, or doing something sexual. And it was driving near everyone else up the wall. The French Prime Minister had all but begged the rest of them to send the Frenchman away for a while.

Spain was sent away because he was…affecting Romano, which led to the Southern part of Italy to go between 'I'm pissed' to 'I want to visit the tomato bastard, but can't because I'm too macho' to 'Holy Crapola you better get the fuck out now before I sic the Mafia on you because Spain's annoying me' and more.

The meeting eventually dissolved into separate conversations about a variety of topics before people began retreating to their hotels. By then, the sun had long set and the moon shone brightly in the inky night sky, surrounded by clearly visible stars due to the distance from large cities.

In the darkness of the room, illuminated only by pale rays of moonlight, stood the representative of Canada and the President.

Stretching, the latter sighed and rubbed tired eyes before standing. "Well, it's late. I should be going now."

Nodding the former turned towards the other and smiled, "It was good to see you. Be careful on your way back."

"Thank you. Good night. Oh, and your folder."

Paper landing on glass sounded and the faces of three teens- two Asian and one European stared up at the ceiling, visible only because of the faint natural light from the moon.

-LineBreak-

-Berlin, Germany ; 12:06 PM-

Germany's paperwork had been meticulously organized into multiple neat piles spaced evenly around the desk; one for finance, foreign affairs, agriculture, and more. Not a paper was out of order, and even the pens and various stationary on the nation's desk were organized.

They were _organized_.

His office was always at the very least somewhat messed up after a visit from _him_, what with his brashness and head-strong personality, the blond wondered how he'd survived visits from diplomats and royalty.

He was six minutes late.

Prussia was never late.

Narrowing ice-blue eyes, the nation did not let up his guard. If Prussia was late for his daily bothering-Germany time, then there were several possibilities to explain the situation.

One; he was off with the Bad Touch Trio and causing mayhem and destruction somewhere, or just drinking his ass off.

Two; he was off bothering Austria and Hungary over down the street, in which he would be gone for several hours at least.

Three; he was off bothering that one other nation that looked very much like America- his brother Canada. Apparently the Canadian had introduced maple syrup to the ex-nation some time ago and the Prussian had immediately become hooked on the substance. Every now and then, he'd go over to bother the nation to make him pancakes.

Four; he was off planning something that would inevitably cause immense amounts of chaos later. It really was a shame that his bruder wasn't a nation anymore, both for the obvious reasons, and that it gave him and his strategic-mind so much time to plan out anything he wanted to.

Five; there was something seriously wrong and Prussia was in trouble.

One was immediately knocked off the list, considering if something did happen, he would've heard through the government gossip branch (yes, the government of each nation did indeed have a gossip branch- it's human nature), through a letter from the nation of which the mayhem and destruction was caused in, or from a note telling him to bail his bruder from jail.

Two was somewhat unlikely, considering that even if Prussia did stay there for more than several hours, Austria or Hungary would've called him to remove the man from their house. Even if eventually they 'became too caught up' to actually kick the ex-nation out. They'd become even more close as people after WWII rather than as the personifications of countries when they realized exactly how much they depended on each other.

(No, not like that you perverts. This is T-Rated dammit.)

Three and Four were both possibilities, more so Four than the latter considering that the man's plans were usually put into effect within several hours, or a week at maximum if it wasn't a large elaborate plan. Those were usually to utterly humiliate and decimate someone's pride and dignity, shredding their reputation to pieces and throwing them to the wind. Germany had seen it happen once to some poor diplomat from another country. It had not been pretty.

Four had a greater chance, as his bruder would disappear to visit his friend every now and then when all the other countries were too busy, or when he was too bored. The two usually came hand-in-hand. But he'd always leave a note, or message or some kind to tell him so, considering how the elder had near-damn been kidnapped during the aftermath of WWII by Russia that'd been only barely considered official due to the splitting of Germany.

Picking up his phone, he rang Austria's place just in case Prussia was there. Several moments later, the cultured aristocrat tones that belonged to most probably the greatest pianist in the world answered, "Hallo?"

"Austria."

The two nations had been familiar each other for decades and needn't have bother with formalities, but the latter did so anyways. "Germany. How are you?"

"Fine, danke. I would like to ask if Prussia has dropped by." The first said curtly.

The blond could almost picture the frown on the other's face as the brunet answered, "Nein. He has not. I'd found that odd, but he's most likely off bothering that one other nation…or Gott forbid, off with France and Spain causing chaos."

Brows drew together in consternation that didn't reflect in their owner's voice. "I see. Danke then."

"You're welcome."

Hanging up, Germany turned back to the piles of paper work sitting innocently on his desk. No one else had called him recently, so it had been guaranteed that the reasons for Prussia lateness and technical disappearance were not due to reasons One, Two, Three, or Four.

Which left…Five.

Ice blue eyes became sub-zero in their intensity. Should anything have happened to Prussia, damn the consequences, Germany would tear apart the world for his bruder.

-LineBreak-

-The Funhouse, Canada ; 6: 27 PM-

Several thousand miles away, the ex-nation in question was sitting on the couch in the great room, watching two of his current hosts battling it out in a game of chess as the rest either watched or were off somewhere doing their own thing.

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**Few more notes; if I'm messing up any languages, please do tell me. I understand what it feels like to have a language you know mangled, and while I'll try to keep it to basic phrases and words, if I mess up, feel free to correct me. **

**You will also note that I didn't refer to any names and tried not to refer to genders up above in this chapter. That's because I don't want to paint pictures of people that I don't know which would offend them and potentially readers. These OC's will also show up very rarely if only for breaks and developments in the story. They won't really be mentioned otherwise.**

**Hopefully, I kept everyone in character with this story and you guys all like it. I'm flattered with the attention this story's getting- over 350 hits in about a month. All my other stories took several months to get to that.**

**Either way, happy birthday again to you bro, and I'm signing off now. The next chapter will hopefully be up by next week.**

**7**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yes, I know, "Where the **** have you been? It's been like three weeks or something!"**

**Well, now, I actually have a decent reason for not updating.**

**One- My muse went up and died somewhere in the middle of this chapter and I had to go and revive it, a la reading copious amounts of fics. ****Two- I got into the KHR fandom. It drags you in you see...And now I have a load of ideas for fics. *le headdesk* ****Three- Last few days of school I got roped into a bunch of crap. ****Four- I had to pack for a trip to Asia, where I am now. So don't be surprised that this being updated while you sleep.**

**So, there you go. But I am still sorry for ditching; updates will be erratic due to my now busy schedule for the summer of eating, sleeping, learning new things, traveling and etc. I'll see what I can do.**

**This chapter has been beta-ed, but that document refuses to open on this computer or something so I'll have to reload and update everything from here on out again once I am back in North America.**

**Thanks again to all readers and newcomers AddXC92 and Carefree Insanity.**

**Disclaimer: I give up. You see, when one repeats this over and over, it gets old. Fast. So from here on out, the disclaimer applies for every chapter. Muffin, why didn't I do that sooner?**

**SEMI-IMPORTANT A/N AT BOTTOM~**

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Chapter Five- The Russians are Coming!

The next morning at the Funhouse was all fine and normal for its members, except for Cynthia. Upon waking up from a deep dreamless sleep, due to some soreness which she could not remember the cause of for the life of her and caused her brain to be a little muddled, she started out her day normally though with less clarity and focus than usual as she walked towards the bathroom. Something nagged at her though, manifesting as an uncomfortable feeling in her chest. In the brunette's sleep addled brain though, it was shoved aside.

Normally, she would've walked from her current sleeping quarters- the great room downstairs as it had easy access to every room and everything because she was just that paranoid- to the bathroom, taken a shower, dressed, and brushed her teeth before going to make breakfast and then waking everyone else.

Note the usage of the word 'normally' in the beginning.

Today, all of that peaceful order was shattered as the poor teen was tackled by 140 pounds of Prussian, sending her sliding across the floor for several metres. As she slid along, head protected by her arms in her split second reaction, she heard the laughter of her assaulter and the chirping of a bird and blinked, mind blanking. Reaching the end of her little trip, she turned her head to stare at the man currently sitting on her back not looking sorry at all and even grinning triumphantly. "_Fräulein_! Make pancakes for the Awesome Me!"

"…What. Why couldn't you have asked me this later? Perhaps after I finished my morning rituals and dressing to look a proper human being?" the brunette asked flatly.

"Because the Awesome Me does what I want and when I want!"

It apparently finally registered that there was a man who had not been there in their house yesterday sitting on her back when her eyes clouded over before sharpening, focusing and narrowing dangerously within the span of five seconds.

Calmly, the teen spoke. "You have five seconds to get off me."

"Nein. Not until you agree to make me pancakes."

"Five."

"I'm waiting Fräulein."

"Four." Muscles tensed slightly.

"Just agree to it…"

"_Three_." The tone of voice took on a dangerous edge that caused the bird (_Gilbird_, supported the teen's mind) to chirp nervously.

The childish silverette continued to sit on her, not budging a centimetre, "I'm not getting off Fräulein,"

"_TWO._"

"Kesesesese, not even mein bruder has escaped from the Awesome Me's-"

With a grunt, a lungful of air escaping her, the brunette pushed herself up and Prussia off onto the floor preemptively to surprise the latter thus augmenting her chances of actually getting through the morning without raging at something.

Standing up and dusting herself off, Cynthia sighed before turning to look at the groaning man on the floor and pinching the bridge of her nose as she calmed herself, restraining the urge to punch him. Once sufficiently calmed down, she continued on her original trip to the bathroom. Only now did the teen remember the uncomfortable feeling from before and recognize it again.

_It's going to be a long day._ Lamented the girl as she sighed once more.

-LineBreak-

- Somewhere else in the cottage-

In the Funhouse's Secret Security Room, a certain blonde laughed disturbingly as she saved the video feed on camera 22 of the various security cameras connected to the cottage's alarm system to her personal computer, USB, and email. "That was so worth getting up early. I have a good feeling about my blackmail stash…"

Finishing what she was there for, she quickly shut down the various windows and pop-ups before removing all traces of her activity on the system and logging off. She stood up and popped a few joints, once hearing the various cracks from them and slunk out of the room to her room upstairs.

-LineBreak-

Upon finishing her morning ritual, the teen exited the bathroom and back into the living room of the second floor. Now more alert and more paranoid than ever, the girl barely had a moment to react before ducking the Prussian's second attempt to pin her down and force her to make pancakes. This time, she didn't bother restraining herself and lunged at the man, applying whatever martial arts experience and theory she had in her brain to down Prussia and knocking him out with a good punch to the head.

You'd think that the units would have better protection or something.

And so Cynthia decided that as soon as she was alone, she was going to have some serious raging to do. Or she'd have to stock up on some aspirin to get her through the week, forget the summer.

It wasn't even eight in the morning of Day Two (it sounded even worse when she said it aloud to herself, before remembering that talking to oneself is a sign of insanity, before _then_ remembering- _oh crap_ she was already partially insane from her friends) and she already had a headache.

Both from the combined efforts to drive her up the wall from her friends and new guest along with said new guest's 'enthusiastic morning greeting'.

Oh who was she kidding, first chance she got; she was getting back at them.

And it wasn't like she didn't have ideas or anything, and if she was desperate enough, there was always the Internet lack of originality be damned.

Shoving the increasingly violent ideas aside for the moment, the brunette stalked into the kitchen silently as a way to focus all her pent up annoyance outwards and began pulling various ingredients and utensils from cupboards and cabinets and the fridge.

Her just calmed mind reared up with ideas of violence and destruction as she heard the doorbell ring just as she pulled out the basic materials for crepes. Counting to ten, she strode to the front door just as she managed to regain some semblance of composure over her emotions.

"_**What**_." Well, obviously that didn't work out so well judging by the terrified look on the man at the door's face.

The teen blinked, before taking a deep breath and calming down. "There's too much idiocy in this place to be good for anyone. I apologize for my rudeness sir."

"N-no problem. U-um, is Rowena Chang here?"

"Unfortunately, not as of current. She's still sleeping. Lazy bitch…" The last part was muttered quietly under the brunette's breath before the tone of voice returned to normal. "So you may as well refer to me."

"A-Alright then…" the man adjusted his collar with only the most slight of shaking hands as he swallowed nervously.

Eyeing him for a moment before realizing what had happened, the teen sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Rowena threatened you didn't she?"

"E-erm…"

"I'll take that as a yes. Please, don't take it personally, we are simply private people and the fact that your company found out our information so easily disturbs us a bit. We care for our own, so that's why she threatened you. Now, you were saying?"

Finally getting some closure as to knowing that there wasn't a homicidal sixteen-year old girl after his blood, Benjamin the delivery guy managed to compose himself slightly, "Your new units are here Miss…"

"Cynthia Hui. But you don't need to mention that to anyone." Not completely aware yet, the teen completely missed the 'unit**s' **part of the sentence.

"A-ah. Well, if you could just sign here and here, to prove that you are also eligible as an individual to sign off the waivers and such…"

A moment later, the papers were signed and the taller brunet was carrying a box into the house. Setting it down, he huffed slightly at the weight before heading back out and confusing the girl.

Interest piqued, brown eyes searched out the man and found him removing another box from the large white and green van. In the blink of an eye, her heart dropped into her stomach as curiosity was replaced with dread and groaned.

"Why. The hell. Are there two boxes." A slightly more hysterical Cynthia all but demanded with as much composure that she could muster in that moment (which wasn't a lot mind you) as the second box was carried in.

The delivery man shrugged slightly looking vaguely uncomfortable, "Sorry, but I don't know. The company changes its policies and rules on a whim sometime, and even so the quantity of units that we ship out varies with their fancy. It's complicated to a point where only the higher-ups can keep track and understand everything."

Taking a deep breath, the younger of the two shuddered visibly before pasting an obviously fake smile that looked more like a grimace on her face. "Thanks anyways. Now excuse me, but…"

Benjamin Smith was then treated to the sight of a fifteen-year old teen attempting to smash a hole in the wall of the cottage with her head while chanting various swear-words under her breath all the while.

_I guess…it could be worse?_

-LineBreak-

By the time the brunette had stopped attempting to smash a hole into the wall, the delivery man had already left and she was left with two boxes of Muffin knows which two Hetalia units. Deciding that if she was going to suffer painfully, she'd be dragging everyone else down with her just because she could. Screw the fact that friends are supposed to be caring for each other and all that sappy sentimental shit.

_Death yes this calls for death or maybe not perhaps just maiming terribly but what would be considered 'terribly' in a sense and how would we hide that hmm yeah well maybe pressure points that causes pain nails or psychological or even short term pain needs pain somebody's gonna get hurt real baaad- _

Violent and disturbing thoughts filled the once sane and innocent girl's mind again causing her to laugh disturbingly quietly, Cynthia brought (dragged, pushed, essentially anything to get them to move because _Muffin-damn _they were heavy) the two boxes to the great room. Sparing a moment to catch her breath in leaning against the wall, she stalked upstairs like a cat; quickly and quietly, to the bathroom. There, she grabbed two buckets and filled them with ice cold water before carrying them to the pseudo-living slash bedroom directly above the first floor great room.

With great care, the teen eased the doors open and stepped around anything left on the floors towards the beds where the rest of her dysfunctional family of friends of sorts was sleeping. With a vicious grin, she set one of them on a table and brought the other up, taking aim at a certain blond.

_Ready…Aim…FIRE._

Approximately 4.36 seconds later, the angry scream of a pissed off Russian sounded throughout the cottage.

If they weren't immediately woken up by the ringing of a "WHAT THE HELL!" courtesy of their resident sadist, the rest of those still sleeping were with a bucket of ice cold water, completely drenching them. Even Luka wasn't spared, as he sat up, sputtering and tangled within his sheets.

"COLD!" shrieked a dripping wet Cheryl as she shot out of her bed and onto the floor as she tried to escape fore-mentioned cold. The pre-teen then proceeded to roll around like an idiot in trying to warm herself.

For once, Rowena didn't look amused as she sat up and stared at the middle-child of the Oriental Asian Trio ("OAT!" the youngest of the 'trio' had chirped happily. "Now we just need an S!") blankly, "Really? Was that really necessary?"

Cynthia merely laughed, sounding slightly insane, "INDEED it was foolish mortals! Now, join me in my suffering!"

On a somewhat high after snapping mentally for the moment, she ran off back to the bathrooms to get more water and brought both buckets to where a knocked out Prussian lay on the floor. Like before, she then proceeded to dump both on the man before ditching the buckets on a nearby table and running downstairs.

Rounding the corner, she flung herself into the kitchen, dropping into a roll just for the heck of it and then popping back up to start making breakfast as if it was any other normal morning.

By the time the rest of the habitants of the cottage were properly dressed and downstairs, a table of food sat on the kitchen table causing more than one person's stomach to rumble. Single-mindedly, Prussia, Zora and Cheryl lurched for the food, only to be repelled by a brunette wearing an apron with a spatula in hand. "No."

Prussia looked comically outraged, much like a child, "What the hell? You deprive me of my pancakes and then-" He suddenly clamps his mouth shut and looks away sullenly, attempting to preserve some semblance of pride and dignity in front of the group.

The eldest blonde snickered momentarily, "And then she knocks you out with one punch."

A brooding look was shot at the teen who merely smirked, until the apron-wearing girl –it was pink and distinctly feminine looking, which surprised those who knew the girl because she wouldn't touch anything pink with a ten-foot pole normally- asked tonelessly, "And you know this how?"

Zora smirked, a mix of triumphant and smug, "We have security cameras for a reason Cynthia."

Something dark and slightly foreboding flashed quickly across the brunette's face until it disappeared and a calm, near apathetic visage returned causing the two younger pre-teens to tense nervously. The older two suddenly became a tad more wary as their friend blinked. "Regardless, nobody is eating until we greet our two newest guests."

Rimmed glasses slid down Rowena's nose and their wearer pushed them up with a finger as she looked at her fellow Asian, "Who?"

Smiling wryly, Cynthia stared back and spoke, "The Russians are coming."

-LineBreak-

Four words.

It was all it took to shatter a person's world.

Four well-chosen wor-

Oh what the hell. The reactions were instantaneous.

Cheryl looked somewhat caught up between looking eager to meet the world's biggest nation's unit, uneasy, happy and terrified while Rowena looked oddly thoughtful. Luka merely cocked his head slightly as if to say, 'Yeah? So what?'

Cheryl envied her friend's poker face.

The last two of the group were undoubtedly the most…expressive of all of them.

Simultaneously, earlier attack completely forgotten, Zora grinned maniacally with something that almost resembled a cheer ("Hell yeah!") before zooming off to flip through the manual. On the other hand, the Prussian looked angry, hateful, unsure and careful all the same with a loud exclamation of "What?"

History coming back and near slapping her in the face, the brunette who started the day's chaos sidled up to the latter and spoke again but with a much softer tone, "Are you alright?"

The silverette scoffed, "Of course! I am the Awesome Prussia!"

"Ah, yes," acknowledged the teen before continuing, "But I do note that you…have history with him."

"I'm fine!" snapped the man suddenly, body tensing up as crimson eyes locked on a spot- the sink she realized in her somewhere, it's probably because of the obvious piping- and becoming defensive.

Cynthia flinched slightly, unease and slight wariness showing on her face at the outburst before backing off gracefully with a nod, "If you do need anything, just find Rowena or me."

The little 'spat' of sorts had been completely missed by the younger children, but Cynthia caught the knowing look from the eldest of the five. An almost dangerous looking gleam of light reflected off of Rowena's glasses as the teen gave her a reassuring nod before going to check the small booklet as well. Undoubtedly, considering her own personality, Zora wouldn't have missed it either despite looking a cross of high as a kite and sadistically, quizzically mad-scientist happy.

The brunette bemoaned the fact that she was so used to the crazy that it didn't even register to her anymore.

Sighing, she turned around. "So. How are we going to do this?"

Rowena shrugged, "Manuals?"

"Oh hell no. That's was funny the first time, but now it'd just be sad. I say we come up with our own ways. We're trailblazing through this shit!" scoffed the blonde.

Previously weary eyes sharpened as Cynthia shot down that option as soon as the last word left her friend's mouth. "Absolutely not. Maybe you'd think it's interesting and I agree, but we are _not_ risking people's safety for your entertainment. If you've forgotten, but this is most probably one of the most dangerous units for crying out loud; we don't need blood on the carpets and hospital visits first week into summer."

"Fine, fine, calm the hell down and chillax. But, we're doing it. Eventually." Cue eye roll.

Appearing much like an angry cat, the other loosened up slightly, tension visibly seeping out of her and exhaled sharply. "Manuals then."

Somewhat semi-serious for once, Rowena gathered everyone not involved in the opening of the box (or anyone not part of The TRIO ("Wow, you can hear the capitals!" "Shut up foolish little sister.") essentially) over by the couches. Which in a matter of moments had been converted into some sort of barrier in case anything happened.

Seemingly prepared, Zora opened her mouth to speak before she was cut off by Cynthia who deadpanned. "No, we are not doing 2, 3, 4, or 5. Just do one."

The blonde deadpanned straight back. "That was the plan."

"Good. Carry on."

"What are you, my mother?"

"Of course not. I'd be horrified to have you for a daughter." The brunette looked affronted.

"And you'd make a shitty mother what with your amazing aptitude for social and emotional skills." Came the drawn out reply.

With a terrible fake posh accent, a straight-faced Cynthia stated seriously, "I do believe that's an oxymoron."

"And I do believe that's you being an utter nerd and complete asshole, but hey! What do I know?"

Rowena joined the deadpanning. "Sometime in our lives please? Maybe while we're still young more preferably?"

Both younger teens snorted before Zora strode over to the piano. Reaching into it, she then pulled out a tranquilizer rifle and handed it over to the brunette. "Here you go you paranoid nerd. That's enough to put down an elephant for several hours, so it'll at least slow Russia down a bit if nothing else."

Prussia blinked slowly, silver brows furrowing in confusion and wariness, "How the hell did you get that? I'm pretty sure that's illegal for civilians to have; hell, it's probably illegal for everyone except those licenced."

The blonde smiled faux-innocently that fooled nobody. "That'd be telling. Now let's do this."

Nodding grimly, Cynthia set the rifle properly, aiming at the box and generally looking like she was about to go to war. A sharp contrast next to her friend, the other smiled disturbingly happy before inhaling. In a frighteningly similar voice of canon Belarus, she yelled, "Brother!"

The effect was immediate; quiet sniffles sounded from within the box before it dissolved into full-out sobbing. Warily, the brunette kept the weapon trained on the box while Zora approached the container with a shark-like grin. In one fluid movement, the teen had near ripped the lid of the box clean off and then bringing down the remaining sides. "Why hello!"

At once, to the immense disturbance of everyone else in the room, the formerly cowering Russian nation pulled a complete 180 in personality. Whipping around from his previous trembling crouch in a way that somehow didn't seem hurried, a cheerful look appeared on the man's face. "Oh, so you are not sister Belarus? Privet!"

Ignoring a certain Prussian's sputtering of _What the fuck,_ the blonde simply smiled something that had her rifle-wielding friend turning the weapon on the both of the Europeans. The younger of which, pulled a bottle of vodka out from some hammer-space to Cynthia's mutterings constituting of _Muffin-damn _and offered it to the elder.

This little gesture caused the nation to perk up and _motherfucking beam_ at the girl. "Ah, so you are of Mother Russia then?"

Zora smiled a mix of faux-innocent, evil, sadistic, happy and so much more that nearly caused the brunette to have a heart attack from the sheer _Oh FUCK yeah factor (_as she called it) that was unleashed. "Da!"

With this, Luka facepalmed epicly as Chloe looked torn between being terrified or happy and their watcher, Rowena smiled as well at the anticipation of more chaos. Oh how they grew up so fast! Sniff.

"Goddammit! I knew there was something about you! YOU'RE ONE OF HIS!" screamed the other nation as it _finally _hit him. Thus creating even more tension. Cynthia, high-strung from the tension, fired her rifle at the current source of her anger/annoyance/whatever the hell she was feeling.

Hoping to God that the rest of the world, forget Russia, never found out about this being his last coherent thought, Prussia was knocked out for the second time of the day.

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**Yeah...So review?**

**Also; anyone who can guess why in the last chapter I gave Agents Smith and William their names will be rewarded with spoilers. And beware the references in this story from other places.**

**I have also posted a bunch of story/fic Ideas on my profile page, anyone interested can go take a peek. And if anyone wants me to do one *don't take that the wrong way, for the love of Muffin*, then just review. Or PM me.**


	6. Chapter 6

***Authoress stumbles in drunkenly* Muffin, I knew there was a reason I didn't take naps. It makes me even more of a lunatic than usual and my sleep schedule and energy levels are completely thrown. Guess who's just been up for about 24 hours straight?**

**Yup. And in the middle of the night, I got up, snuck into the computer room and finished this thing in about three hours, then sent it to my beta, who sent it back, I stared at it and trusted my beta to do the right thing and stuck it here. Huzzah. **

**One day I will kill my eyes finishing this for you people. The things I do...**

**Ch. 7 as usual will hopefully be out in about a week or so. Yeah. I should start putting up those little update schedule thingies like the pro-writers do on my profile shouldn't I?**

**Oh well. Yeah. I'll do that sometime soon. And please do check out my profile page for future fics that you want to see from me; the plot bunnies are attacking viciously. I'll update that sometime...**

**Standard disclaimer applies... And has anyone noticed the references to other anime or memes? Also guessed why I gave Agents Smith and Williams those names? Those who do get a shot at a freebie one-shot for Hetalia. Or some similar one-shot for KHR!, Bleach, Naruto, but I'm getting off track. As long as it's kept to T and not just essentially PWP for shounen-ai. I'm not good with that. Check my profile; I state my preferences and peeves there.**

**Muffin this is getting too longgggg...*dead***

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and stuck

Chapter Six- Four-Way War

Everyone stared as Prussia went down hard, his body hitting ground with a dull _thud,_ before turning to Cynthia, who was now looking calm and composed as she fanned herself, rifle slung across her back, "Is anyone else feeling hot?"

"Da!" beamed a certain gigantesque Russian.

"Da!" echoed Zora, only to duck as a rifle swung at her head "The hell!"

"A gift from me to you for getting me all worked up like that."

"Well, my fellow vodka-drinker here had a part in that too!"

"He's a guest."

"I'm your friend!"

"You certainly don't act it." The brunette Asian deadpanned before turning to the still conscious nation, "Now, what would you like?"

"More vodka please. You have this, yes?" Russia shook the empty bottle of alcohol that Zora had just given him.

Cynthia blinked, "Sure we do. Considering that Zora over there is an alcoholic and apparently enjoys collecting liquor and alcohol of all types from around the worl-"

Hand covering the other's mouth, the blonde hissed, "That's my stash."

Brown eyes stared blankly at her as their owner licked the hand and spoke as it was removed with haste. "You sure seemed happy to share your vodka two minutes ago. Now stop whining; sharing is caring."

Flashing them a sarcastic happy smile, Cynthia headed off towards the kitchen as Zora wiped her licked hand on the upturned sofa disgustedly while somehow looking proud as well. "I've taught her well."

Russia looked curious, "Taught her what well?"

"How to play dirty, how to use a bunch of firearms, where to hit to cripple and kill, and torture and interrogation."

Luka looked annoyed. Annoyed or disturbed. "I thought you said you wouldn't ever torture or interrogate anyone as long as it wasn't necessary."

"But it is good to know how to do these things little brother," the elder stated of the two Adler siblings in a matter-of –fact voice.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that you didn't just teach this from a textbook or something."

"I've also taught _you_ well; you noticed!" Zora looked on in faux-pride, sniffing melodramatically and wiping away an imaginary tear, "And yes, we did test it out. On some lackey of a drug-smuggling ring in the shadier areas of the city, I'll have you know. Our stickler-for-rules and resident nerd did wonderfully! And it was the weaker techniques, so don't worry."

"Weaker?" probed the Russian nation.

"No body parts were lost and no permanent damage done." Zora elaborated before pausing and backtracking slightly, "Other than being mentally scarred of being tortured by two teenage girls I guess."

Cheryl looked slightly horrified while Luka looked resigned. Here, Rowena stepped up, looking for all the world like a reprimanding sibling or mother, "The shadier parts of the city?"

"Mm, yeah. Near the red light district where it's in that one alleyway where you know for sure that the guys who hang out there all the time are guaranteed bastards."

"Oh. Well, good. I was just hoping that you didn't accidentally torture some poor lost soul."

"Nah, it was a lackey. We found out the coordinates to some warehouses and jacked the guy's cellphone to call the police about it. He was too traumatized to tell about us."

"That was because you threatened to kick his ass so hard that the last of his line would feel it and then changed your mind to threatening him with castration with a dull, rusty knife, all while smiling like a creeper on steroids." Cynthia droned as she returned with several bottles of cold vodka along with some cans of pop for everyone else and a bottle of whiskey. From her pants pocket she also removed some smelling salts which she placed right in front of Prussia who was still out like a light.

As everyone said their thanks for the drinks, Cheryl asked curiously, "What's that other bottle for?"

"This is for waking up our other guest."

"We have another guest?" chorused the three younger members of the original group of five.

Rowena smiled and moved out of the way to reveal another box which had somehow been hidden behind her despite being both taller and wider than the teen, where Gilbird was nesting. "Ta-da!"

Russia looked pleasantly surprised, "How…?"

"Don't ask."

The nation blinked once. "Oh. Okay."

The glasses-wearing Asian pulled the little ball of fluff off the box and onto her head, beaming at the others who stared at her. Moving the sofa back to its original position, Cynthia waved everyone else back as she readied herself.

"I thought you didn't like doing these things sis?" The youngest of the OAT (Oriental Asian Trio) suddenly piped up.

"I don't." muttered the elder darkly. "But I don't trust any of the rest of you to do this without collateral damage."

Zora laughed and looked positively flattered, "Why thank you!"

"And that's why." Cynthia mumbled, suddenly looking very depressed. "Because two of you aren't yet old enough to handle these things and the other enjoy acting like childish lunatics. I'm surprised I don't have gray hairs yet."

"Mood swings…?" asked Russia, head tilted.

"Constant PMS and mental instability." Replied his technical citizen nonchalantly, having pulled another bottle of vodka from her hammer space. "She still denies everything wrong with her."

With this, they fell silent, looking to enjoy the show. Cynthia opened the bottle very carefully and poured some liquor over the box, immediately leaping over to the coffee table afterwards. Placing the whiskey down, she dove behind the sofa just as the box shattered into little bits of wood.

A green blur emerged from the storm of the fragments of the crate, appearing by the whiskey. Near the table, a now clearly visible green-eyed blond Brit was chugging the liquor like his life depended on it.

Zora whistled, "Damn, that's some chugging. Impressive. Gotta wonder what's got him all stressed out to be like that."

Upon finishing, the bottle came slamming down onto the piece of furniture, cracking the container's glass and causing some of the remaining liquid to stream out and make its way down to the carpet underneath the table. Slightly disturbing laughter sounded from the newest member of the Nation Units.

As if summoned by the notion, Cynthia's head burst up from behind the sofa, looking horrified, "No! Not the carpet!"

Snapping out of it, the man stopped, staring at the spot and around his environment before his features turned apologetic, "Oh my, I do apologize for the mess I've created Miss. Here let me help you cle-"

The Asian stared at him blankly before she was on her feet in a second and by his side the next, dragging him out the entrance and up the stairs. "You. You are not doing anything in that state of yours. No, you sir, are going to go sleep for the next eight hours minimum, so help me clean and I will drug you."

Spluttering, the nation attempted to stop his kidnapper of sorts from carrying through her threat, "Wait, but Miss, I'm perfectly fine-"

He was cut off abruptly as a hand chopped into the back of his neck and knocked him unconscious. "Fine, maybe I won't drug you. But like hell you're fine. Bags under bloodshot eyes, visible fatigue and looking to not have eaten, washed or drank anything proper for more than several hours? By the Muffin, what is wrong with people these days?"

And with this, the teen carried the blond up the stairs and out of sight, still mumbling about 'irresponsible idiots' and 'having to do everything'.

Zora broke the rather shocked silence, "Mental instability yes? Mother-hen, hypocrisy and PMS-ing are sure signs I've heard."

A creepy, wide smile broke out across Russia's face as he declared, "I think I will enjoy my time here, da?"

-LineBreak-

Around a quarter of the way around the world, the three nations of the Baltic States simultaneously shuddered violently as they took their spots at a café.

"Mr. Russia has apparently found someone new to terrorize." Estonia stated shakily, dropping into his seat.

Lithuania did the same and following his instincts, looked towards the west worriedly, "Unfortunately it appears so. We can only wish those people luck."

Latvia trembled and whimpered. "And this was supposed to be our day off."

The three sighed sadly.

-LineBreak-

Not too far off, one certain fanatic of the Russian nation looked up from task or maintaining her knives in good shape and narrowed her eyes.

"Those incompetent losers that serve my brother are feeling worry and fear… And I have yet to see brother today…" Belarus stood up abruptly. "I see. My brother has been kidnapped and is now being harassed by lesser beings. Don't worry brother! I'm coming to save you, and when I do, we'll be married married married!"

With that, the nation ran out of the room after sliding all of the knives and daggers somewhere into her dress.

-LineBreak-

-Time Skip; The Next Day-

England awoke, head heavy with slow thought processing, and groaned. Only to have a hand cover his mouth as he did so and a quiet voice hiss, "Shh!"

Blinking blearily, his vision gradually adjusted and green eyes met a faintly familiar gleaming brown. Somewhere in his brain, the eyes were connected to an unnamed teen carrying him up some stairs.

Had it not been for the faint, distant mumblings of the memory-teen grumbling about 'irresponsible idiots not taking care of themselves', he might've panicked being in an unknown environment with unknown people as with every other nation. It was to be expected though; each nation had gone through too much to not immediately slip into a war-time persona upon waking up in potentially hostile environments. The nation's thick brows furrowed in a silent question.

The hand was removed for which he was grateful before the voice replied, "You're at…" Here the voice paused, "_A_ cottage up in Northern Ontario, Canada after you arrived yesterday looking like death came over. I knocked you out because you were struggling too much and you've been sleeping for the past nine or ten hours. You should really take better care of yourself; it's not like you'd be able to do anything half-dead."

Sitting up with slightly sore muscles, the Brit took a look around, "Why aren't there any windows in your cottage, Miss…?"

The teen looked embarrassed, "Ah, excuse me for my rudeness. I'm Cynthia Hui, it's a pleasure to meet you." A grimace then appeared on the girl's rapidly becoming visible face, "Well, we're actually in a bunker connected to the basement with two separate passages that I had commissioned, both of which lead outside. There's something of a war going on above."

"Arthur Kirkland, government representative for the United Kingdom, but just call me Arthur or England if you prefer." The blond introduced absently, missing his companion's odd look at the comment, before his head whipped around from his observation of the moderately sized room, "War?"

Now the teen shrugged helplessly, "I don't think there's a word more suitable for what's going on right now. It actually started yesterday after I knocked you out. Since you arrived in your box with the Russia unit and a Prussia unit already here, I knocked Prussia out when Russia woke up and then I woke you up before knocking you out. Afterwards, Prussia woke up and Russia and Zora, who you may remember as a crazy looking blonde, teamed up with Russia to heckle Prussia as fellow Russians. Which really doesn't make much sense considering Zora's also half German, but then again she's crazy. So Prussia was alone until Zora's little brother Luka joined with Prussia because he sort of pitied the guy, and then the last two, Rowena, the older Asian, and Cheryl, my sister just joined the war as the wildcard duo doing random stuff and, and, and-"

Near hyperventilating, Cynthia just managed to calm herself down as the representative for the UK tried to not stare blatantly. He was of course used to the nations' insanity what with centuries, if not millennia of war, political issues and betrayals, overly complex familial affairs and etc. but didn't really expect to meet a human situation so like that of the nations. "Miss Hui…"

With that, the teen blinked before turning to him like nothing was wrong with that, "Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

The brunette sighed. "No. But thank you for asking."

"Well, if I may ask, what do we do now? I highly doubt that we can stay here forever and that we would either survive upstairs from the looks of it," questioned the nation.

"That…is a good question."

"Because I really don't want to go up there."

"Neither do I England, neither do I."

-LineBreak-

_If I never get a normal job, at least I know I'll always have 'babysitting the insane' as an option,_ Cynthia mused drily from where she and the nation unit were currently; creeping around the side of the house to the front yard.

After a particularly easy decision between the two new acquaintances, they'd decided the best thing to do was get away for a while with the perfect excuse, which was heading over to the nearby town's grocery to get some food for the now group of eight, but really more like ten or twelve considering how much Cheryl, Zora, Prussia and Russia ate. Despite not knowing, you couldn't help but notice that there is no man above six feet ever eats in small quantities. Grabbing a small backpack with money and some basic survival essentials ("I don't give a damn that we're in the city and that I have a first aid kit, army knife, money, water, water purifying pills and other shit with me, I AM TAKING THEM AND YOU AREN'T STOPPING ME."), they took the passageway out of the bunker and up to the surface for the first time in about a day.

So now, Cynthia and England were sneaking into the front yard where two cars were parked; one was for personal use between the three older teens and the other for the whole group's use. Both were Japanese, because everyone there agreed that Japanese cars were damn good and the Japanese themselves were damn good at technology after taking ideas from the west.

No offence of course to other countries and car companies. But one does not simply beat Japan in the technology department.

As to why they were sneaking?

They would be screwed if any of the three pairs caught them.

Sharing information, Cynthia had imparted to her supposed partner in crime that Zora was essentially a mini-Russia, Rowena a crazy mix of Hungary, Spain and some other nations, Cheryl a somewhat less annoying Sealand, and Luka a sort of Iceland. Then sobbed at the insanity of it all.

England then mentally noted her as an imbalanced mass of all the nations' traits. And then feared for his own sanity.

But of course, they said nothing, and snuck around the cottage James Bond style. Rounding the last corner of the ridiculously large residence, Cynthia peeked over the edge of the nearest window in case someone was there. There was no one. For about three seconds.

The fourth, a demonically childishly smiling Russia appeared through the window as an explosion set off in the background with screaming and various objects flying, causing the teen to jump about a meter into the air and curse loudly. Loudly and colourfully in fact, as she and England bolted for the cars while fumbling with the car keys.

"-Motherfucking hell, where the shit did he come from, that window shouldn't have been able to hide him, tall-ass bastard, oh crap no no no ABORT ABORT; other car GO GO GO-!"

Jumping into the car, she started it up in record speed and peeled out of the driveway in a flash of burnt rubber.

Fifteen minutes later and several kilometers down the road, the teen and nation finally calmed their pounding hearts, breathing heavily.

"_Muffin-__**damn**_. I am NEVER doing that again."

England quaked slightly, "We're not heading back there anytime soon, are we?"

"Fuck no. Just…No."

* * *

**You know, these characters are actually sort of based off of my friends and I. I guess you could say it's a not really sort of self-Insert, but I've twisted their characters so much that you only might've been able to tell if you actually met us. Or got a really good reading on us from whatever PM's I've traded with you if I have.**

**Kudos to my lovely beta CantoCookieMonster for getting this done in record time with a smile on their face and for that, after the second (and maybe third part) to the Four-Way War mini-arc (GASP! THERE'S ARCS?), our own dear chocolate-loving, gun-toting, money-saving Neutral Germanic country is arriving! YES, it's Switzerland. Huzzah.**

**I'm tired, not entirely happy with the shorter than usual chapter and yeah. That, and I nearly gave myself a heart attack at three in the morning from imagining creeper Russia in the dark of night when it's really quiet. **

**Once again, the things I do for you people. **

**Read and review, and sorry for the ranting *cough, not, cough* and Kudos to those who do get through my long-ass notes. You're awesome. Nearly Prussian Awesome. But not quite there yet. **

**Out**

**7**


	7. Chapter 7

**Yeah. Hi. Back after a week and 3 days. That'll probably be my average update speed, because a week is honestly not enough. Yes, I am that lazy. Sue me.**

**BTW, who will read this I don't know, but in China *where I am now*, we had a huge storm several days ago and it flooded some areas so badly that there were several meters of water that CARS and TRUCKS were floating in. The area we were travelling to flooded as well, and we missed the train to the place by a minute and a half. I shit you not. Afterwards, we heard about 5000 people were trapped there, and I was like, "Holy Crap. I'mma psychich." cuz I felt like missing the train was a good thing.**

**LONG AN IS LONG, I WILL GO NOW.**

**BUT, the challenge *why I picked Agents' Williams and Smith's names* is still up. Prize is a one-shot.**

**Also, starting from now on, every 7 chapters, reviewers can ask Zora, Cynthia, Rowena, Cheryl and Luka questions, 3 per reviewer. Unless I change my mind.**

**Standard disclaimer**

* * *

Chapter Seven- Four Way War Part 2

There was something abnormal happening in the Funhouse.

It was _quiet._ And knowing its residents, the Funhouse was hardly ever quiet.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on who one asked, that silence was quickly mashed into a crumpled heap, set on fire and booted out the door. Figuratively speaking of course.

As the silence was booted out the door, a loud, rumbling explosion rocked the multi-million dollar cottage. The walls and floors only shook the tiniest bit; proof of excellent design and materials. However, tiny bits of plaster were dislodged from the walls and loose, and unsecured objects rattled around, some even falling to the ground.

Amazingly though, not a single thing was actually largely destroyed. Yes, items and rooms were scorched and singed from fire, and slightly abused from being used as shields and objects of distraction. Yes, there were also pieces of furniture covered in water, flipped upside down and shoved from their original places, not to mention covered in substances like honey, paint, cheese-spray and a whole matter of edible liquids and gels. But nothing was completely decimated.

Well, not yet anyways.

In the first floor great room, Zora popped out from behind a couch after the dust had cleared, grinning viciously as she searched for any targets from behind her hiding place and shield, with her partner suddenly materializing from behind a much too small potted plant. "I think we got them."

The Russian nation shook his head. "Nyet, where are the bodies?"

"Their partners could've dragged them away," reasoned the girl.

"Then that does not mean 'we got them'," came the objection.

Zora frowned. "Touché."

Immediately after the word was said, the two jumped apart as a hail of water balloons came raining down from above, alerted by the soft, creepy laughter of Rowena, whose glasses glinted evilly. "Almost got them."

"You probably shouldn't laugh next time then R."

"Don't worry C, they only heard me because I let them. Next time…they won't even see it coming."

A heartbeat later, their previous targets were upon them, Zora lunging forward at Cheryl while Russia fired off rounds from a paintball gun at the elder of the two. The younger inhaled sharply, knowing that her friend wouldn't hurt her, but still; this was a matter of _pride_. So she threw herself to the side before scrambling for the doors.

They slammed open.

Everyone froze.

A calm voice spoke.

"You know, I'm getting sort of tired of having to run around in this place, unable to even sit down for a moment before being targeted with paint or something like that. And while on that topic, I really need a shower. Actually, we all do. So I thought, 'If I need a shower, then so do the others!' And here we are."

A high pressure water hose was pointed at them. Cool hazel eyes stared calmly.

"It's your choice," said Luka.

Behind him, Prussia smirked, looking devious, as crimson eyes danced and gleamed with evil intent.

Simultaneously, they all thought in some manner, _That bastard._

-LineBreak-

Several kilometres away, one Cynthia Hui, along with her companion, one Arthur Kirkland, also known as England or Britain, was currently sliding into a parking spot at the nearby town's mall.

England stared at the side-view mirrors before turning to the teen driving, "You do realize that you just cut some random chap off and stole his parking spot right?"

The girl blinked unconcernedly before checking in her on mirror to see an angry twenty or something year old man cursing her out. "Oh. That guy. Well that 'random chap' tried to feel me up last time I was here so before I persuaded him otherwise. I really don't know why he's so pissed off at this considering I could've easily had Zora break his hand."

"Language." the nation reprimanded on reflex before registering the information and looking furious, "He tried to feel you up? That wanker!"

Cynthia snorted and raised an eyebrow, "Language eh?"

The island nation flushed slightly.

Stowing her keys away in her bag, she the brunette exited the vehicle and watched as her companion did the same before heading towards the mall. "I have a list of things we need, but now that I realize, we also need to get you and the others some stuff. Can you make a list?"

"Stuff?"

"You know. Boxers, clothes, toiletry and etc. That kind. Considering you're a guy and they're guys, you should know this right?" Cynthia paused, completely disregarding the blatant staring they were slowly attracting due to England's rather attractive features, despite the eyebrows. "Actually, forget them. They're liable to have blown up half the cottage by now. They can do it themselves."

England frowned slightly, "Can you afford all that?"

The brunette looked amused at the question, "Did you see the size of that cottage? And the two cars?"

"True."

"Just don't buy too much, because knowing the testosterone filled men still at the cottage, they'll ask for an equal amount of stuff and despite being able to pay for it all, I don't want to. Keep it reasonable and we're golden."

"That's perfectly alright. Thank you."

A smile lit up Cynthia's face, "I think we'll be getting along splendidly. Now come on now, we have some shopping to do."

Striding through the mall doors, the teen led her companion to several stores that sold men's clothing, leaving him to pick out what he wanted while she waited nearby; something the nation was grateful for, because hell if someone looking over your shoulder wasn't awkward.

Though, upon paying for his purchases, things went downhill very quickly.

The dark-haired teenage cashier raised a bored eyebrow at Cynthia, who was paying for the clothes, "Boyfriend didn't bring money?"

England choked on air while the teen herself blinked rapidly for a second, blindsided. "Uh, no. He's actually a visiting friend and I promised I would pay for his necessities since he's usually really busy with work."

"Really now?"

"Mmhm," Cynthia nodded, looking blasé and relaxed. Inside, her brain was working furiously to come up with a suitable half-truth to feed to the now interested teen – who looked to be her age, as well as a gossiper; the worst kind of person she could meet right now. "We were running behind schedule while coming up here so I just decided that we'd do the shopping here, you know?"

"I see," commented the cashier, who was now eyeing a discreetly sweating England like a piece of meat. "So he's single then?"

The brunette suddenly grabbed her purchases and companion in one smooth movement while sending the cashier a fake smile, "And also unfortunately busy this summer, so you can count that out. I apologize in advance."

They fled the store and cashier who was now already calling multiple friends from around the town, "Oh my God Jen, you will not believe the hottie I saw walk into the store today…"

Several corridors down, the blond Brit looked somewhat traumatized. Again. "Will I have to go through that for every store?"

"You'd think that someone like you would be used to this kind of thing." Cynthia spoke drily.

"What are you implying?"

"Government representative? Good pay, most likely? Decent looks? That's almost guaranteed to get you fans, fangirls no less. I thought you'd be used to this," replied the teen who was now gradually looking more pensive and confused.

The expression was caught by the nation who jumped at the new possible subject, "Are you alright?"

Cynthia jolted slightly, having been lost in her thoughts, "Hm? Oh, just contemplating a little idea that my mind noticed a while ago. Don't worry; it's nothing to be really concerned about. Let's keep going; we still have to get the rest of your things along with the groceries."

Agreeing easily, glad for the drop of the topic of his love life, England turned away; completely missing the rather grim, contemplating look his companion sent him.

-LineBreak-

Prussia cackled evilly as he watched the tied up and gagged group of four that they'd captured glare heatedly at him (Cheryl and Zora) or stare at him rather blankly (Russia and Rowena). "Kesesesesese! This will teach you not to underestimate the might of the Awesome Prussia!"

A palpable presence of a silent angry glower from behind him had him backtracking slightly, "With the help of the almost- as-awesome Soldaten as well."

The angry aura faded away.

Zora and Russia looked on with faint pride in their eyes.

"And now, as our captives, it is time… For the complete and utter destruction of your pride and dignity! Come minion!"

Cue rage aura.

"Er…Soldaten. To the storage room!" And with that, the two left for the so-called storage room.

The minute the doors shut, Zora spat out her gag as large hands snapped her bonds like as if they were simply string instead of the thick rope they actually were. "My brother is learning! Though he still isn't good enough; he could do better. I have wonder if they're really that blind or we're just too awesome for them though, considering our situation now."

"I say both!" smiled Russia as he ripped away the last of the rope, which almost seemed to shrink and wither away from the man. "Prussia is foolish still, even now."

"Erm, yeah." Zora looked at her partner somewhat oddly. "What do you mean, even now?"

"Exactly what I said!"

"Okay then…Well. Let's get out of here and plan for our next assault."

"Da!"

Zora was in the midst of turning away when she was caught in the most dreaded thing possible; Cheryl's eyes. Or more appropriately, Cheryl's Cultured and Refined Kicked-Puppy-in-the-Rain Puppy Dog Eyes©. Otherwise known as CCRKPRPDE. Simplified as CPDE.

But that wasn't the problem. As cliché as it sounds, and even more so for using it, it was the ultimate weapon Cheryl had, employed as a sure-fire last resort (which Zora would never admit out loud). A last resort which could possibly bring even the strongest to their knees, directly copied from ever single shoujo anime that the girl had found. One that pleaded silently Zora to free her from her bonds.

The blonde's eyebrow twitched as she struggled to resist. "Gah…! Must…not…give….i-"

The cuteness factor had just risen by three levels.

"-n. Fuck. Fine I'll untie you, just stop looking like that, dammit!"

Chocolatey-brown orbs instantly blinked back into normal brown as Russia watched curiously. "What is that? It's…cute."

"The dreaded Puppy Dog Eyes of our dear youngest child here. We don't know how she learned it, but she did and we can't stop her from using it because every time we've tried, she just uses it so that we can't stop her from using it. It's a horrible never-ending loop that you'll never win against." Zora stated grimly even as she untied the rope and removed the gag.

"Really? It does not look that powerful."

Disturbingly serious, the teen merely muttered, "That's what they all said."

Capable of speech again, Cheryl sniffled happily and flung herself at the Russian girl in an almost crushing hug. Said girl simply patted the hugger on the head, because Russians do not feel pain. They _embrace _it. Most notably Zora. Like that one time where she was shot in the leg and laughed at the wound before going after the shooter, disarming him, then knocking him out with his own weapon via pistol-whip.

But that's a story for another time. Because now, the little girl had engaged the Puppy Dog Eyes, this time at Russia.

And the nation was _losing_.

Rowena looked subtly smug and Zora disgruntled as the large man finally looked away as the Weapon of Mass Destruction (future referred to as WoMD) started climbing levels. How many levels there were, no one knew. Well, no one had survived long enough to find out.

"How 'bout an alliance?" proposed the eldest of the OAT.

Zora grumbled.

The doors burst open.

With the announcement of the sudden alliance somehow reaching the ears of both Russia and Cheryl, they, along with Zora and Rowena, tackled the two newly returned males to the ground. Seconds were all it took for a crazy Russian-German teen to locate and hit the necessary pressure points to momentarily paralyze them, locking up their muscles.

Prussia swore mentally, being paralyzed, as evil grins appeared on their former prisoners' faces, while Luka simply sat apathetically, shooting the former an 'I told you so' look. The silveret returned it with a look that clearly said 'Shut up'.

-LineBreak-

The incident at the store was quickly left behind as the two (questionably) sane people started hunting once again for the things they needed, determined to keep the rest of the day normal.

But Fate, (being immortal and otherworldly and all that shit had evidently taken its toll on the entity) was now insane. Which meant it was conspiring against those like Cynthia and England, by oh so conveniently placing the slightest of gut feelings in the minds of drooling teenage girls (and a few guys) and sending them in their direction.

"There they are! Get that sexy piece of British ass!"

Said 'sexy piece of British ass' and his companion looked up in horror as the growing group of about twenty or so teenagers from as young as thirteen to that of the late twenties who were eyeing them madly.

Cynthia sniffed, eye twitching as she cursed enraged towards the sky. Or more accurately the ceiling. "WHY FATE WHY? WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO?"

-In another dimension where Fate resides with other Final Entities and Beings-

Fate cackled, "Because you deny the insanity inside of you! That, and I enjoy torturing you, mortal!"

Nearby, Time and Space looked towards Destiny who was crying unbecomingly, "You see what I have to deal with?"

"I'LL CONVERT YOU TOO ONE DAY DESTINY! JUST WAIT!"

"NO!" screamed the entity. "I'LL NEVER GIVE IN!"

Time looked towards Space. "It still eludes me why Fate isn't partnered with Chaos."

Space deadpanned, somehow as a Great Entity, "Because then they'd cause even more trouble. You remember the last time that happened right?"

Time shuddered, "Do I ever. It scarred me, after all."

Space suddenly turned, eyes wide, "Speak of the Devil."

"We're above him." Deadpanned Time.

"Humans have rubbed off of me. It's a phase. But seriously. Look." Space explained, eyes (it was a confusing concept of how the Beings actually had eyes or anything resembling the sort, but they were old, and shit happened, so they tended to ignore these kinds of things now) widening by the second.

Time turned, and if it weren't for the pride and ego of being one of the universe's Great Entities, the being would've screamed, turned tail and run crying in the other direction as Chaos manifested, features arranged in a sly smirk, "Wassup bitches!"

"I'LL GET YOU ALL ONE DAY! I WILL! THERE'S A REASON I'M FATE!"

Cackles and screams resounded throughout the dimension.

-LineBreak-

Cynthia paused, confused as she stared upwards. "…"

England inched closer to his guide, green eyes trained on the drooling mass of fangirls, "We sort of have a problem, so if you could get your little staring match over…"

"It's not a staring match," retorted the girl, still confused. "But I swear I just heard the dialogue of some people from…somewhere."

"Oh great. If you could just wait, because THE FANGIRLS ARE COMING!" The Brit's voice rose to what he would later deny being a shriek as the group of adolescents and young adults finally stopped lusting from afar and pounced, surging forward.

"FORWARD GIRLS! YOU TOO BOYS!"

The screams of the crazed mob ripped through the air, prompting nearby (actually, everyone within a hundred meter radius) to look at them oddly. But England and Cynthia were too busy running for their lives to be concerned with that.

"DIDN'T WE COME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM THE INSANITY?" demanded a terrified nation.

"WE DID! BUT I BLAME YOU AND YOUR BRITISH-NESS FOR THIS MESS!" snapped the girl running beside him, carrying all the bags, in reply.

"BRITISH-NESS ISN'T EVEN A WORD!"

"THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS SITUATION?"

"WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?"

"SOMETHING THAT'S NOT NONSENSICALLY ILLOGICAL!" Cynthia bit out, before cursing as she maneuvered like a ninja around slow-moving shoppers.

The blond cursed, "WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS SECURITY?"

"PROBABLY TURNED AGAINST US BY FATE WHO PUT THEM ON BREAK OR IS HAVING THEM WATCH OUR SUFFERING THROUGH SECURITY CAMERAS!"

"THAT- sadly makes sense." England mused in a moment of thoughtfulness while sprinting, speeding up as more screaming sounded around the corner behind them.

"It does. It's a universal conspiracy against the sane to turn them, well, those who actually know insane people, into insane people as well."

"It'd certainly explain a lot…" grumbled the man. "Why were we yelling?"

"I forget. Oh wait, fangirls."

"Oh right, fangirls." The two shared a look, blinking. "OH CRAP, FANGIRLS!"

Coming to a certain intersection, they skidded to a stop as they were surrounded on all sides. A tall brunette woman in her mid-twenties and apparently the leader stepped forward, pointing at them. "That's them ladies and gents! Our targets!"

Cynthia looked desperate, "Oh come on, can't you let us go? As fellow females and fellow brunettes? You know, 'Us women have to stick together'?"

The lady nodded seriously, "Of course, but you're on the other side, you're not with _us,_" Emphasis was placed on us. "Girls and boys. So the rule doesn't apply."

"Dammit!" The nation's lone companion against the madness swore before reaching into her pack grimly. Moving closer to the man, she spoke lowly, "I didn't want to use this, but… Cover your face, Arthur!"

Her hands suddenly lashed out, releasing multiple pellets that hit the ground and exploded just as England covered his face. Dark smoke mixed with slight amounts of pepper and strong smelling substances erupted from the little balls, blinding the crowd temporarily.

During this time, the teen grabbed England's arm and dragged him to the side, where the crowd was thinner, towards the parking lot where their ride was. "Hurry!"

By the time the smoke had cleared, the two were long gone, leaving the mass of people cursing. Until their leader stepped up again, declaring solemnly, "Men, women; our targets may have eluded us this time, but next time will be different! As of now, start recruiting our fellow brothers and sisters, because while we may have lost the battle, we will win the war!"

The mass roared in approval.

-LineBreak-

As they drove away from the mall, speedometer showing that Cynthia was driving at least twenty kilometers above the speed limit, the girl swallowed heavily as her stomach abruptly twisted on itself. "Crap."

"Now what?" demanded the paranoid blond Brit.

"I have a feeling…that this war between us and the _fangirls,_" she spat the word. "Has only just begun."

England slumped back into his seat weakly. "Oh…dear."

"Oh dear indeed. And…"

"…Do I want to know?"

"No. But you will. If that's how they reacted to you, can you imagine how they'll react to the others and those who will come?" questioned the brunette rhetorically.

The nation paled drastically, only whispering, "God save us."

* * *

**I will be editing previous chapters soon, so ignore any chapter alerts unless it's a new chapter. Yup.**

**Because I realized, now, that I've been calling Prussia a 'silverette'. Which implies girl. Prussia would be mad. **

**Anybody pick up on what Cynthia is thinking...? Anyone guess what'll happen? Tell me in your reviews~ That's all for now I think...**

**See you people later...**

**7**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, well my average update speed thing turned out to be complete bullshit for this one time only since I honestly had nothing to do.**

**And so I was very sad with my pathetic review count for chapter 7; 2 reviews. Do you guys hate me now or am I over-reacting?**

**Either way, here's an un-betaed chapter 8 since my beta has been busy and I'm impatient. So yeah. Review please? It feeds my secret ego.**

**BTW, Challenge is still up and Standard disclaimer applies.**

* * *

Chapter Eight- Neutral Domination

Gravel crunched as a silver Toyota pulled into a long familiar drive-way, belonging to the Funhouse. Moments later, the engine shut off and two doors slammed shut. The whirring of gears sounded, followed by the rustling of paper and plastic.

Cynthia and England peeked out from behind their shelter of the car in a paranoid fashion, only to be greeted by the wind through the trees and the distant chirping of birds in the forest. But that didn't calm them down.

"Okay…I'll go in first, do a sweep of the first floor and then come back. If I don't come back within half an hour, assume the worst and get the hell out of here." The brunette explained, dead serious as she handed the Brit beside her the car keys and a sheet of paper. "My will should be on my laptop, this is the password and all the other information needed."

England nodded gravely, green eyes shielded, "If you don't come back, then it was a pleasure knowing you. Even if only for a day. I'll never forget how you saved me from the fangirls."

They shook hands in the way that only paranoid sane people can before Cynthia inhaled deeply, breathing in the fresh Northern Ontario air. After all, if she didn't survive this, then it would be her last chance to smell the crisp, clean air. Suitably prepared, she steeled her nerves and stepped towards the Funhouse, footsteps barely audible in the quiet. Several clicks later, the door was open and the brunette was in. So far, so good.

But that feeling only lasted until the moment she looked up and saw the state of the cottage. Had she been a lesser woman, she might've screamed in horror and fainted. As it was, she only looked on in horrified awe at the destruction caused as she traversed the house.

Previously clean walls and floors were covered with a variety of substances; water, paint, various condiments, dirt, and just about anything of liquid or powder form. Carpets were splattered with rainbows and glitters, other areas on walls and floors singed and scorched from extreme heat.

All down the hall, various unsecured objects (which luckily, were mostly useless trinkets and the like as the second day in, Cynthia-in a fit of OCD- had gone through the entire house and taken anything and everything of value and shoved it in her security vault which had more protection than that of a normal bank) had crashed to the ground and shattered. Glass along with the occasional wood shrapnel was scattered across the floor.

Any fabric such as curtains had been shredded and punched full of holes (_Were those bullet holes? _Shrieked the girl mentally). Furniture had been shoved out of place or decimated to various states of firewood, the few untouched things and areas being the piano, TV's, beds, and kitchen.

Ripped apart or set-off traps popped up here and there, along with what should be found in an crazy man's pack; guns, ropes, chains, various torture weapons and the like.

Cynthia's stomach twisted painfully and following her instincts, she stepped out the back door to see the destroyers of the cottage heaving a struggling Prussia and Luka into the on the dock.

As it were, she reacted in classic Cynthia fashion.

"ARTHUR KIRKLAND, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Prussia and Luka went flying into the lake.

-LineBreak-

It was several hours later, during which Cynthia had given the group of six the cold shoulder after having retrieved and cleaned up Prussia and Luka. Originally, she would've left the two off easy for being tossed in the lake, but the Prussian had decided that just because he was being coddled at the moment that he could get off with anything. And so prompted the whole 'go make me a sammich, woman' comment.

Even with them being on figurative thin ice as it were, the rest of them snickered or smirked secretly as the seething brunette immediately hauled him back outside and dumped the silveret in the lake. Again.

Coughing and sputtering, he was unceremoniously dragged to the house, dried off and given a temporary change of clothes with a warning that if he did something like that again, Cynthia would not hesitate to leave him to fend for himself for a night.

Now, they sat in the ruins of the great room, disturbingly calm middle child of the OAT staring down two grown men and nations, two teens and two pre-pubescent children. Her fellow peers shared a look that spoke of '_Fuck, we're going to be screwed over bad.' _A nervously twitching England stood behind her from her position on the now upright couch.

"What," they all flinched minutely from the unwavering calm tone that emerged from the girl. "is the meaning of this destruction? A slight food-fight in the kitchen, I understand. A pillow fight spanning several rooms, I understand. A water gun fight, I understand. But, taking all of that and multiplying it in adding anything and everything to utterly destroy the cottage, I don't. Why would you do this? Who wants to elaborate?"

In a moment of either incredible bravery or immense stupidity spoke for the group, "Chillax dude, we'll just clean it up. Not a big deal. We do it often enough. And we felt like it."

"That, is_ not my point_. You say that now, and we may have funds for it, but what about when there are more people? When there's more tension? More factors, more things to go wrong, and not enough ways to fix it?" Each word progressively became more and more angry sounding, though that anger was tightly reined in and controlled. Russia had to secretly admit to himself that he was the slightest bit impressed with what had at first appeared to be the weakest of the five when set off.

"Rowena; you are the oldest and thus by proxy one in charge. You should not have been going along with this level of chaos, forget tolerating it. You will not be allowed to walk off obligated duties." The two silently communicated the rest of the conversation until the elder blinked slowly and nodded once.

"Zora." The blonde narrowed her eyes. "I let you loose for the most part, but this is too much. Control yourself, or I will do it for you. I know you don't like it, I don't like it either, but if I have to, I will." Like before, brown and hazel flashed at each other before Cynthia looked away to her sister.

Cheryl," The girl flinched. "First and foremost, you are my sister and you have been raised better than this. The occasional spat here and there I don't mind, but destroying things is unacceptable.

"Luka. I expected better from the mature one of the group." Even these few words had the boy shifting uncomfortably as he nodded almost imperceptibly.

The brunette's head turned to the two nations. "You may be guests, but I won't tolerate anyone walking over me or the rules I lay down. I was lenient before, because I don't like forcing people to do what they're uncomfortable with, but something like this I will not take. I am not perfect, being human, but I do my best to do what I believe is the best. If there's a problem, then we can talk it out. Are we clear?"

The quiet was unsettling but the group dared not break it, until Russia spoke up, accent lilting and sounding rather sincere, "We apologize, but I will say that I started it, trying to provoke dear Пруссия. And so I dragged everyone in and we got…carried away."

Prussia started to retort until Cynthia shot a dangerous look at him before turning to stare at the giant of a nation, eyes unblinking. Brown met violet and the quiet grew to disturbing levels until the quietly enraged girl finally ended it.

"I will let you off this time, but you will all be cleaning this mess up tomorrow under my supervision. And don't, for even a moment think, that you are off the hook. That is all. Dinner will be ready soon."

Standing up and stalking away with a still twitchy England behind her, the group was left to themselves.

Prussia spoke first as Gilbird popped up from beneath the collar of his shirt. "…Damn."

"I should've expected something like this, knowing her as well as I do. Though the blame is shared between all of us; for provoking her, not seeing things before and leaving her so stressed. The idiot shouldn't have been stressing out so much…I'll go see if I can talk to her." Rowena sighed, adjusting her glasses and nodding towards them before leaving silently.

Zora dipped her head, but otherwise remained oddly quiet and thoughtful. Cheryl and Luka were sitting together, taking comfort in each other's presence in the aftermath of their sister-figure's slight blow-up at them.

The out-of-uncharacteristic behavior felt wrong to the two nations who shared a neutral look. Russia grinned to himself; the blow-up had left everyone all quiet and behaved and that was no fun! So he sidled up to a certain Prussian and placed both hands on the latter's shoulders. "Well, now that that is over, become one with Mother Russia?"

"_HELL NO!_"

-LineBreak-

The kitchen.

It was the undeclared but known forbidden land where Cynthia reigned supreme as cook since no one else could make anything edible other than a sandwich or was too lazy to.

And Rowena had just stepped into it.

The chopping of a knife on a board stopped and the figure of one of her oldest friends turned slightly towards her. "Is there something you need?"

"Are you okay?"

"I am fine, thank you for asking."

The glasses-wearing girl frowned inwardly; the brunette was slipping into polite speech. "You aren't. If you were, then you wouldn't be talking like that."

Walking up behind Cynthia, ignoring the stiffening of the brunette's posture, Rowena hopped onto a stool beside the island as the chopping resumed. "…"

"You're reverting."

They echoed in the brunette's ears and she miscalculated her last slice, the blade cutting into her finger and spilling fat droplets of blood. She ignored the burning injury. "I am, am I."

It wasn't a question. Rowena ignored the injury as well. "You are. This is why we tell you to loosen up, you know? No harm, no foul."

Shifting her hand so the blood wouldn't get on the food and mechanically wrapping it in a rag, Cynthia didn't know whether to smile or scowl. "Someone needs to watch out for the next time, the next foul."

"But it doesn't always need to be you. You can calm down; we're watching too you know."

"It makes me feel better." _It makes me feel safer, knowing myself what's going on, what happened when, where, why, how. _

"Then don't kill yourself doing it. Who's going to cook and be our slave if you die from overload of stress?"

Her lips twitched upward involuntarily before their owner forced them down into a scowl, prompting Rowena to grin secretly. "You're insufferable you know that?"

"Yeah, well you're not angry anymore are you? And who uses words like insufferable these days? Noob."

Cynthia huffed and turned around, arms crossed. "Get outta my kitchen. Dinner'll be done in an hour."

Rowena thought she looked ever part of the mother-hen persona the girl denied she had; apron, reprimanding aura and all. "Yes mum."

"I am not old." Replied the brunette, arguing on principle.

"Mentally you are."

"…Do I need to threaten you with a knife?"

"I think that counts as child-abuse." The glasses-wearing girl laughed and slid off the stool, dancing out of the way of various random objects that were chucked at her. "And you didn't deny it! You better make something good!"

"It'll be better than what you can make." Cynthia mumbled to herself though she was smiling. A moment later, she returned to her task before pausing and slapping herself. "Crap, I am acting like a mom."

She smacked her head into a wall in resignation, sighing.

England walked in to this scene and looked around confusedly before asking, "Did I miss something?"

"No England, you didn't."

"…Oh, um okay then."

-LineBreak-

An hour later, everyone settled down at the table, avoiding Cynthia's eyes until the girl huffed, annoyed, and threw a fork at Rowena. "You didn't tell them?"

The elder glasses wearing girl beamed, "Nope!"

The brunette threw a spoon at her before sighing and looking up at everyone. "I'm pissed, but as long as you keep in mind your safety as well as the safety of others' along with my cheque book and clean up tomorrow, I won't consider killing you, maiming you, or leaving you to fend for yourselves in this place. Now stop looking like someone died and eat before I start having to threaten you with my knives."

They ate.

-LineBreak-

The next day, everyone was up bright and early under command of Cynthia and scrubbing away at floors and walls while the girl herself went through some IKEA catalogues to order replacements for destroyed furniture.

Blinking to herself, she smiled deviously as an idea came to mind. But before she could implement it, the doorbell rang.

Hopping off of her perch of a chair with a silent glare towards the working minions to continue their task, she went to answer the door and found a soon-becoming-familiar face greeting her, nervous tick in eye and all.

"Hello Benjamin, how are you this morning?" she nodded politely.

The delivery man coughed slightly and mumbled something under his breath that Cynthia thought might've been 'Good, thank you' or 'Oh good, she's not crazy today'. She chose to ignore the chance of the latter. A clipboard was thrust in front of her and she signed it calmly.

It was retrieved and swapped with a large box as the girl thanked the man who quickly left, not wanting to spend more time than was necessary. Cynthia didn't blame him for it.

Dragging the box into the cottage proved not as hard of a task as she thought it'd be. The brunette made a mental note that maybe something good was coming out of this insanity; she was getting some exercise and maybe the tiniest bit stronger. A tiny part of her puffed up in pride, as her arms were probably the weakest part of her body, but that was quickly silenced.

Once in, Cynthia decided that it'd probably be better if she opened this one herself and so opened the instruction manual.

She almost cried in relief at the words glaring up at her, but exchanged that with smiling in a normal yet subtly twisted and insane fashion.

'VASH ZWINGLI: User Guide and Manual'

She stormed back into the room happily, somehow managing the rather odd combination and stalked up to Zora.

"I need a gun."

The Russian turned, eyebrow raised. "What for?"

Smile sharpening dangerously, brown eyes glittering with slight madness, Cynthia repeated her request. "_I need a gun._"

Rolling her eyes, the other girl reached into her clothes of choice for the day- a Green Day t-shirt and plain white shorts, she pulled from somewhere (as neither top nor bottom had any sort of visible pocket) a third-generation Glock 17 and handed it over.

Prussia, Russia and England stared in slight amazement.

"Thanks." The brunette smiled disturbingly cheerfully, only for it to be wiped off her face as she turned around and one gleeful Rowena unlatch the box. And poke the figure inside.

"Poke."

"HOLY SHI-!"

The apparently suicidal teen was tackled out of the way of a physical attack from a SG550 assault rifle by her friend, handgun forgotten. The firearm was picked up by Zora who once again stashed it away.

Work long forgotten, everyone stared at the much more interesting situation-under-development as the two girls rolled away from one angry looking blond Swiss. Cynthia stumbled to her feet, dragging the elder up with her and shook her violently, previously forgotten angry rage back full blast. "ARE YOU SUICIDAL?"

Rowena coughed weakly, glasses sliding down nose. "-Not, really."

"ARE YOU STUPID?"

"Some-times."

"MAYBE THEN JUST BLIND?"

"Partially?"

"BECAUSE THE BLOODY MANUAL SAYS- FOR THE LOVE OF MUFFIN, DO NOT POKE THE FUCKING MAN." The booklet was thrust in her face. "DID YOU SEE THIS?"

The glasses-wearing girl faltered slightly, "Uh, no?"

"THAT'S HESITATION." Cynthia snapped, eyes flashing dangerously. "THAT TELLS ME THAT YOU SAW. SO WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO IT?"

"I, um, felt like it?" Rowena offered meekly.

Cynthia smacked her upside the head. Hard.

The eldest of the OAT cried out in pain, rubbing the spot where her friend's hand had made contact with her skull, "OW! That hurt! And I still need those brain cells!"

"WELL EVIDENTLY YOU FAILED TO USE THEM WHICH TELLS ME YOU DON'T. NOW MAN UP, AND BY THE MUFFIN, IF YOU TELL ME THAT YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A WOMAN, I WILL THROW YOU INTO THE GODDAMMED LAKE."

"Oooh, she used God. She's pissed." Luka mumbled semi-consciously.

Tossing her abused friend aside, the middle child of the OAT turned to a staring Vash and just snapped. "You. I don't care if you don't like it or what just happened, but I do not tolerate people attacking my friends. Failure to comply with this results in my throwing you into the lake or some other equally unpleasant action. I don't like violence, but I will use it. You are here, in our home, and you will comply with the rules set down. No extreme violence or prejudice against anyone without good reason, especially my friends and family. Any problems will be solved in a civil manner, or through violence after the fancy talks in a safe, controlled environment. I am neutral ground for most part, and Golden rule is treat others fair enough that they tolerate you, you live, and I'll handle the rest of this shit. If this doesn't make sense, you'll figure out the rest soon enough. Is that clear?"

The Swiss looked unimpressed, "You aren't one of those useless, extremely types who enjoy wasting money are you?"

"Hell no. 'Wasting' and 'Money' do not belong in a sentence together. Unless it involves the wasted money going towards making more money."

Vash looked at his apparent new host analytically before nodding with something akin to pride in his eyes. "Well spoken."

The girl's personality did a one-eighty and she looked up at him with almost fanatic worship in her eyes, "Where have you been all my life?"

"Doing paperwork in Geneva."

Cynthia waved it off carelessly, "Details. Either way, these assholes destroyed and or trashed a good portion of the cottage yesterday and are cleaning it up today. You mind helping out in supervising? I can get you something to eat."

The 'assholes' looked put out or angry at the word, but at the words eat, they all slumped slightly; the girl had decided that until they cleaned up the place, no one would be eating.

And of course, as they'd all been forcibly dragged out of bed, none of them had had the chance to sneak into the kitchen to steal something. As it was, none of them would've even had the chance since by some sixth sense, the brunette could always tell when someone was in the kitchen when not during meal times.

Switzerland looked impassive outwardly, but inwardly, he smirked just a tiny bit. The bi-polar girl wasn't that bad. He had his guns and capability to access anything he needed after a trip to the bank, so he was relatively safe since Russia had nothing against him and he could easily fend off Prussia. Liechtenstein was with Hungary and Austria, so was in good hands and his paperwork was done too.

He liked this little trip. So far at least.

"Something with cheese. Chocolate works too."

"Consider that done."

Oh yes, the Swiss man would like this trip very much.

* * *

**One question from InSaNeAngel'sgottaAK47- 'Will you guys kill America when he comes?'**

**Cynthia- I don't see why I should...I personally have nothing against him.**

**Cheryl- Same! Plus I don't like killing...Or really any kind of violence...**

**Cynthia-Says the brat who enjoys beating on her older sister.**

**Cheryl- Wha- *dissolves into fight***

**Luka- It's pointless, and who would fight the world's superpower? That's suicidal...**

**Rowena-Hum, no I guess. Though I might torture him for some idiocy and whatnot that he's done...But then again he did do some good things too... So yeah probably no. Though I still might change my mind... *****is taken out by victorious Cynthia* **

**Cynthia- No.**

**Zora- Maybe...It'd be interesting, of course. I could try a gun, or knives, or the unorthodox and-**

**Cynthia- And this is taking too long and we don't need to hear anything else. Yeah. Bye.**

**That's it for now. **

**7**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hahaha, sorry for not updat- *shot***

**Yeah, well, let's just say that plotbunnies attacked and spawned and GODDAMN THEY ARE VISCIOUS, along with minimal reception to the last chapter. Not to mention a trip to Mount Tai in China, so yeah. **

**If you've been following me, you'll note the new KHR/Naruto fic which is apparently infinitely more popular, so I'll be dedicating a lot of my effort into that as well.**

**This chapter isn't really all that great, so I'll do my best with the next since Switzerland is there and he's awesome. Comments and suggestions will be taken into consideration if you have any; the Olympic idea *as belated as it is* was from one such reviewer- Undertakersonlyfriend. **

***IGNORE ALERTS FOR PREVIOUS CHAPTERS IF THEY ARRIVE IN YOUR EMAIL; I AM EDITING THEM LIKE I SAID I WOULD***

**Disclaimer- Don't own APH, never have, never will.**

***THIS IS BEFORE THE COUNTRIES' ARRIVAL***

* * *

Chapter Nine- Interlude No. 2

*_8:00 AM, Funhouse, Canada –note, this is before the countries' arrival*_

It was another ordinary day; the sun was shining, the birds singing, and-

"GODDAMMIT NO! SCREW YOU, YOU STUPID IDIOTIC WEAK-ASS LITTLE-!"

Zora screaming at the large flat screen in the Great Room.

Everyone else sat, lounging around on the comfortable couches, watching with varying expressions ranging from ridiculously amused to rather similar to that of the enraged-now sniffling girl- except much more…passive to say. The wondrously soft couches were placed in a horseshoe shape around their coffee table in front of the large flat screen. All of which was placed towards the glass wall providing a lovely view of the outdoors. For once, Cynthia and Cheryl sat together peacefully on the left of the TV while the last of the OAT sulked on the lone recliner that was the 'bend' of the horseshoe and the Russo-German siblings took the last remaining couch.

Rowena- finally looking rather annoyed to the mock amazement of Cynthia- huffed, "Shut up Zora. You're not the only one who's upset about their chosen country doing crappily."

Luka raised an un-amused eyebrow at the older girl, "Your country isn't doing that terribly."

"But my other country is! It's like, at the bottom!"

"That's because it's smaller and still sort of dependent on its original Mother-Land."

"I don't care!"

They both ignored the smug aura practically radiating off of the Chinese siblings.

"Well at least one of your two countries is doing well," sniffed Zora who flopped back onto her marked piece of furniture. "Since my country is in the twenties or something at the moment."

"But if you supported your two background countries, then you'd also be in the top ten." The glasses-wearing girl pointed out.  
"And I'd still be behind you and everyone else."

Cynthia and Cheryl beamed beatifically at them.

Three pillows were simultaneously and childishly launched at their heads.

"STOP LAUGHING YOU BASTARDS!" roared Zora angrily.

"That's not very nice Dawwwwwn*." Cheryl chided cheekily.

Cynthia cackled in her currently out-or-character personality, "And we're girls!"

Luka paused momentarily, stopping everyone with a held up hand. "How are we counting the countries' placements anyways?"

Cue blinking from his sister, "Whaddya mean bro?"

"Well, if we're talking about gold medals, then what we said before still counts. But if we're talking about the total medal count, then our two background countries; Russia and Germany would be in about top ten to top eight, Rowena's Korea would be in about top ten or so as well while and Hong Kong somewhere around the seventies. This way, it'd also place Canada in the top fifteen or so instead of twentes."

"…I like it. Let's go with that instead." The declaration came from the insane blonde after contemplating this new information.

Immediately afterwards, she was tackled off her seat of choice by a frothing-at-the-mouth Rowena as Luka scrambled out of the way. "NO!"

The lone questionably sane Asian sighed dreamily, "Aren't the Olympics such joyous things?"

Her younger sibling nodded in a similar fashion, "Indeed they are."

They smiled together.

-LineBreak-

And so the World Ended in a great blaze of fire.

…

Okay, so maybe it didn't.

-LineBreak-

_- Unknown Time and Country, World Conference Center -_

It'd been decided by those in the government that knew of the Nations (because there are those who keep 'secrets' and those who keep **_secrets) _**that whenever the Olympics rolled around, the nations would all be carted off to the literal fortress that was the World Conference Center for the duration of the sporting events.

And the outcome was generally much destruction caused, many tears shed, many fights had, much money spent (or rather blown on useless or stupid objects or alcohol) and really just plain chaos. It was plain to see that no work would be accomplished during this time and so the governments of the world just wordlessly sent the nations packing with a suitcase to the WCC.

The reason for this was that the sheer movement that the events generated in the populace got even the calmest and emotionally stunted high as a five year old on an overdose of sugar and caffeine, with maybe a dash of drugs and alcohol on the side. Hyper, immature, and bipolar as fuck.

Which made things all the weirder for the poor souls stationed at the building in charge of security, janitorial duties, and the like. Especially when they were forced to endure the insanity of dozens of nations who were acting less than their shoe size.

A good example was a high China who was screaming joyfully in Chinese, much to the ire of other countries who'd not made good standings in the competition.

"-YES ARU! GO SUN YANG!"

"SHUT UP!" came the collective shout of the rest of the room from their positions scattered around the main meeting room. Most of them were currently sulking with fellow low Olympic-ranking nations or drowning their sorrows in the food and drink that was piled on the conference table.

America suddenly popped through a random door, arms full of hamburgers, American flags, and Olympic merchandise. "SUN YANG SUCKS! PHELPS RULES!"

The happy-go-lucky persona of the Asian nation disappeared as he stomped up to the blond, "What was that aru? Phelps is terribl-"

The hamburgers were dropped, and (luckily for the hero-obsessed nation), caught by the arrival of Tony on an alien hovercraft. "Fuckers."

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU DID NOT JUST DISS PHELPS."

China scowled as he snapped back, "What are you whining about? Are you deaf on top of being a foolish, money-owing child of a nation now?"

Prussia muffled a snicker from his position in the corner. "Burn."

"Well better that than a girl!" retorted the younger hotly, blue eyes blazing.

Everyone sucked in a breath at the words, "Ohhhhhh, he didn't."

"I knew Америка was stupid, but not suicidal." Russia smiled happily with eyes closed as he appeared from behind a group of now terrified nations. Most of which comprised of the Baltics along with a few other small nations

An enraged scream rent through the air and a ridiculously large wok appeared in the most definitely 'manly' nation's hands. With ludicrous strength and speed, it went flying towards the young, blond nation who'd realized he'd crossed the line. "I AM NOT A GIRL ARU!"

_CLANG!_

Fortunately, or unfortunately as one might see it, in a clash of steel and sparks, Japan had ninja'd from across the room to defend his friend against his fellow Asian nation with a sleek katana. "Chugoku-san; I must ask that you please refrain from committing homicide in the room. It would not bode well for anyone." Requested the island nation, polite as ever.

Definitely unfortunately for Japan this time though, as money exchanged hands of betting nations, Prussia resurfaced about the room with devilish grin with a mug of beer in hand. Which then promptly went soaring towards one certain piano-loving nation's head. "Kesesesese! Forgive me mein liebe, but this is for the greater good!"

A demonic roar of rage sounded as Hungary lunged forward from the crowd and deflected the drink with a frying pan. "**PRUSSIA**!"

Just then, a furiously brawling Greece and Turkey went rolling through the crowd, and it all just dissolved from there as more and more nations were dragged into the eventual bar fight of sorts.

The UN sighed tiredly, massaging his temples as he calculated the potential damage costs.

And cried.

-LineBreak-

Sounds of a disturbing fight suddenly stopped as Zora held up a hand, causing Rowena to look at her annoyedly, "What?"

"I sense…" began the blonde dramatically, before her voice lowered to a whisper. "A disturbance. In which there is glorious amounts of violence and insanity."

Cynthia looked amused. "You broke up the fight for that? Bitch please, there's always violence."

"But this is gratuitous amounts of violence! And insanity like no other!"

"Yeah, no. You're just trying to change the subject of your countries losing terribly in the Olympics compared to China."

Automatically, every other person in the room shot up, righteously enraged. "We are not!"

It was silent.

"I don't believe you."

Luka's eyebrow twitched violently as Cheryl smiled serenely, "Well, China's not first anymore now. It's America."

Both siblings deadpanned. "Oh no. Gasp. How horrible, we're second." Smirks cracked their faces as they conversed.

"Well, actually-"

"-We don't really care-"

"-About the Olympics-"

"-It was all just-"

"-To piss you guys off." They finished in tandem.

Everyone else gaped.

Zora choked up, "You _monsters_!"

Cynthia laughed sadistically, "Yup!"


End file.
